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Heidi Joy Parker
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So I was supposed to do homework today and I did approximately none.
BEN CARSON IS RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT. I would just like to point out that I've been a huge fan of his since junior high. #politicalhipster
A year ago today I found out I was on team China! That was a good day. #timehop
I feel like Quinn should be happy that he lost to Rauner, because he successfully broke the cycle of IL governors going to prison.
*Biden pokes head into Oval Office* Barry, we're Republicans, right? "No Joe. We're Democrats." *Hides WE'RE #1 foam finger behind back* Oh.
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Ryan Gosling >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
I was complaining about the rain and Rachel said "at least it's not pee" πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ this is why she's my favorite peasant.
Hyperbole is a thousand times better than exaggeration.
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The fact that there are human beings who wear overalls this
"It is the child who doesn't know about dragons and unicorns who's to be pitied!"
Today is literally the worst.
#transformationtuesday. 10 years ago to now. I miss this kid. See you Friday, buddy!
My name is Dr. Inigo Montoya. You have pancreatic cancer. Prepare to die! "Oh my god! Are you su-" My name is Dr. Inigo Montoya. You have p
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Bandaids dont fix bullet holes You say sorry just for show If you live like that you live with ghosts If you love like that blood runs cold
At least I get to go home on Friday
It's only Monday and I'm already so over this week.
"What's the most heroic thing you've ever done?" "Wash the dishes without being asked."
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"This is my neighbor. She only speaks Mandarin, so we've never had a conversation. But she's brought..."
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That sad moment when you're at Six Flags, but you don't get to ride any roller coasters.
I keep accidentally saying racist things. Being white is literally the worst.
At Denny's in Schaumburg and Ben and I are the only white people here. This is what happens when we hang out with a Mexican near Chicago.
I have to wake up in four hours 😷😴😴😴
"So where are you from?" - I'm a Liberian "Oh sorry *whispers* where are you from?"
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Orlando Bloom sounds like the name of a dollar store scented candle.
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I let peasants eat in my car last night and it still smells like burger king.
Shout out to my friends for buying me soup and Kleenexes and slippers 'cause they're basically the best. @s_jaramillo5
Oh, look, update number 8. What is going on?
If the Hobbits made an airline safety video, this would be it. - via @JonAcuff
Rachel is struggling today.
My computer has literally updated 7 times today. What.
Need to nap but need to do homework more. #thestruggle #cursethiscold
Pretty sure I have Ebola.* *I am only being dramatic. It is just a cold. Please do not send the CDC after me.
Oh, joy, I have woken up with a cold.
Susan just said terrible things about the queen. So I angrily left her room. #GodSaveTheQueen
I miss my Annabelleschell, so naturally, she's my #womancrushwednesday. #instagramlessannie
90% sure my computer is haunted.
ironically, one of the greatest birds ever was named Larry Basketball Player
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Twitter, why do you have a 140 character limit? I want to tweet song lyrics, but they're too long.. #whyyougottabelikethat