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Skye Rabi
comedy 33 followers
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@UberFacts: Music increases your brain's organization.” Tell that to rock stars.
WOW! My Ironpants score: 0.
Don't be so sweet that people will eat you up, or so bitter that people will spit you out.
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@UberFacts: Only 2% of the world’s population is blonde.” @Gabri3ll3_B feel special
Just convinced some 12 year old that "Plurbie" is a word. #proud #fuckingidiot
You unfollow me because you're afraid of falling in love with me, I know.
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Have y'all heard our @MariahCarey "You're Mine (Eternal)" Remix yet?!?! If not...here ya goooooo: soundcloud.com/jumpsmokers/ma… #Lambs #MCvsJS
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...that makes the world get down! 🔊 RT@WhatUpSkyee: It's that@JumpSmokerss sound <3
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A minimum wage worker needswork for about 10,287,974 hours to afford everything Britney Spears lists in "Work Bitch". Get to work bitch.
Flappy bird.... The only game that plays YOU. @PegboardNerds
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My business ain't your business, so unless you're my thong, don't be up my ass.
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@UberFacts: Saying the word "fuck" uses 72 muscles.” Workout for the year complete @Gabri3ll3_B
*follows dreams* *dreams don't follow back* *unfollows dreams*
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Collin McLoughlin, the next Matthew Koma & John Martin!
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Stop worrying about people that aren't worried about you.
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I'm pretty sure dogs have elevator music playing in their heads the entire time.
You were such an inspiration to me and to the entire world, Rest In Peace Charlotte Dawson. You'll be missed beyond words :'(
Being retweeted is basically saying "I feel you my nigga" 
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“Most people can survive for up to 2 months without eating" I can barely go from breakfast to my lunch break without dying from hunger -_-
@WhennBoys: When boys play with your hair. 😍” Until they ACCIDENTALLY rip off chunks of it
There is an Australian band called "The Beards". Every single one of their 38 songs is about beards.
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I love a female who don't depend on a nigga... that boss lady shit is attractive.
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I don't mean to burst your bubble, but I'm holding a needle.
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It was RAINING and the heat was still killing me -_-
Australia; the place where it's winter in the morning, and a blazing hot summer in the afternoon.
If people are trying to bring you down it only means that you are above them.
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@UberFacts: Milkshakes were originally alcoholic.” So all the boys in the yard were getting tipsy?
Just stacked it in front of a really hot guy #justmyluck
Wow. Strippers get angry if you make it rain Bitcoins.
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The technical term for “butt crack” is “intergluteal cleft.”
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Throughout the entire Twilight saga, there are over 24 minutes of just staring.
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Sh*t I lost my....oh it's in my hand:)
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GIRLS: if ur at a party and a guy hands you his phone to put ur number into, text REDCROSS to 90999 and he’ll donate $10 to hurricane relief
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@UberFacts: Too much stress can stunt a person's growth.” Small man syndrome?
I really have a problem with changing my usernames...
Let's bring calling someone "a boob" back
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The idea of doing the pledge of allegiance in schools was conceived by a businessman who wanted to sell flags.
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I sang so much louder than everyone else at the frozen sing-a-long. The woman next to me literally took her children to different seats.
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After all the funny "roses are red" poems I've seen, I just realized I have no idea how the original goes.
So I guess it's official: If you name your daughter Ellen she's definitely gonna be be a lesbian.
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Flowers brighten everyone's day :D (unless you're allergic, then flowers suck) <3 pic.twitter.com/wsCgSxZI2s
My biggest accomplishment in life is being able to touch my nose with my tongue. #proud
There are so many things about being a person that are so uncomfortable.
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