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just witnessed my brother injure himself with an egg
my sock is trapped in a zip looks like I'll have to chew my leg off to break free
pasta is my best friend
watching bee movie this is a work of genius
if i were in charge i would make it the law that everyone has to shave off their eyebrows apart from me
oh it's friday 13th? i refuse to adhere to these silly superstitions now excuse me while i bolt the doors and board up the windows
@gretagroovy it's a horror movie greta, some throats have to get sliced
Retweeted by Greta
...aaaand she "sliced his throat" with a butter knife
so my sister's making her own "horror movie"...
lookin good @james_c1998
if you ate a lettuce still growing in the ground would that be the same as going into a field and taking a bite out of a live cow
when @jcmouse8 tells you he'd kill you to win the Triwizard Tournament </3
#ReplaceFamousQuoteWithDude Dad's a muggle Mam's a dude Bit of a nasty shock for him when he found out
Retweeted by Greta
When your mum always asks you who's going whenever you go out
Retweeted by Greta
it's funny to watch @AmaisieCowell spilling fanta all over herself
ugh not feeling great someone fetch me a jar of peanut butter i'm gonna eat it all
whenever the sat nav says turn around i start singing total eclipse of the heart in my head
my mother asked to use my laptop *screeches of despair*