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Common White Girl
*breaks leg* but..are my eyebrows okay?
when bae is winning an argument so u pull out some old stuff
when bae says something cute to u and u can't stop rereading it
me shopping: "would Kanye let Kim wear this??"
reasons to date me: -i’m single
I initially planned on being a casual fan, but then I thought, “why not just let it consume my soul instead? “
people who kiss their family members on the mouth are so weird to me
*points at romance* what the FUCK is that
when two people are having a conversation but one of them has their tweets protected
who wears the pants in the relationship? well preferably no one will be wearing pants
i will never accept the sound of my recorded voice
when there’s a fire, don’t forget to stop, drop and pop it, lock it, polka dot it, country-fy it and hip-hop it
i didn’t realize growing up meant dying inside but hey it’s whatever
I can’t go to parties because I turn into a pumpkin at midnight
I'm this close to getting a date for homecoming
when u feel cute but ur selfies aren't cooperating
That message felt like a great idea until I hit send.
marry someone who has a different favorite cereal than u so they wont eat all of urs
I’ve got 99 problems and my inability to self motivate is causing every single one of them.
boy are u a bad loan because I’m starting to lose interest
all time favorite line in AHS history
me: i don't even care. i'm not going to talk about this anymore. ... me: and you know what else? [2000 word rant]
“what the fffffffffffffffheck” -me trying to be more family friendly
plot twist: you wake up skinny, attractive, rich and everybody cares about u
love is when someone asks for a starburst and u give them a red or pink one
arteries will always hold a special place in my heart
if a girl asks u for a tampon, I dont care how much you hate that bitch if you have one you hand it one deserves that level of hell
when u ask ur mom a simple question but she yells her answer
My mom always thinks I'm out partying and doing drugs. She's giving me way too much credit. I'm not that cool. I only go out to get food.
can i have you just kidding you don’t have a choice get in the trunk
it’s 2014 and body hair still does the thing where it grows back when u get rid of it??? wow get ur shit together science
when ur teacher looks at u trying to cheat so u just
when you walk away from your computer but forgot you're wearing earphones
lol how do u emotionally detach yourself from someone
bad people shouldnt be allowed to have clear skin or good hair or nice jaw lines or green eyes