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"If you need a stylus, you've already failed."
So there's a bigoted public employee out there. We get it, she's a bitch. Time to move on.
Dick Cheney is worried about an attack on US soil? You're about 14 years late buddy...
Dick Cheney gave a speech today...
Time travel must have happened ift.tt/1hOtA8K
Time travel must have happened
Look someone in the eye today and imagine what they will look like in 20 years.
Game Theory: Is Shulk REALLY FEELING IT when he has sex?
There are really only 3 options this election season. Bernie Sanders, me with an amendment moving presidential age down to 27, or Deez Nuts.
Thanks Twitter, I would love to know about more Kardashian, and One Direction Bullshit.
There are no gateway drugs. Only people with addictive personalities.
The sad truth of America summed up in a cartoon. #BlackLivesMatter
LOOK AT ALL THESE CARDS I'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO AFFORD! #MTGBFZ
that Lake Erie doesn't have sharks in it!?
WARNING: This video will make you dumber.
August 28! Happy 22nd birthday @PowerRangers
! May the power live on forever!
I thought I was up shit creek without any TP for a minute.
If we can't have Bernie Sanders for president the Deez Nuts is the only viable option. #DeezNuts2016
First day out cycling and I've already received one "GET A CAR!" from some road ragist. Must be a right of passage.
Fucking George Zimmerman... Where's Dexter when you need him?
Say no to drugs, kids. buff.ly/1MmUzUp
BREKING NEWS: A 19 year old white girl in a Fallout Boy shirt is the hero of police everywhere!
Everyone calm down about the candidate with the toupe. He's not going anywhere with this. Just shut it, and #FeelTheBern
I like my coffee like I like my vests. F'in Bulletproof.
We're giving away 3 copies of #Xenoverse
Retweet and follow @Corsair
Donald, Jeb, and Chris are absent from tonight's debate. This will have ZERO entertainment value. Jon Stewart picked a good night to retire.
Tonight: The biggest comedy event of the month: the #GOPDebate
the 4th cup of coffee always has me crossing the line between dead and alive.
I was not expecting an Anime movie to sell out in Erie. Did a bunch of people decide to come out of the nerd closet tonight?
Woo hoo! Pretty cool gift from my mom ift.tt/1MIWMLk
Woo hoo! Pretty cool gift from my mom
"Arrested for resisting arrest" What kind of sense does that even make?
Amazing pizza from #VirgilsPlate
in Erie, PA ift.tt/1E49JXN
Amazing pizza from #VirgilsPlate in Erie, PA 🍕
Ad agency manager: How can we make Republicans seem less racist in an ad?
Employee: Put black people in it?
Manager: Give this guy a raise!
Is it a rule that only one person at a time may keep his own name on a TV show?
Meta Theory: Is Windows 9 being skipped because SEVEN ATE NINE?!
It would be really nice if I could emulate a few iOS apps on Android.
You know what's not funny? Anti vaxxers
You can rent Magic: The Gathering decks now. This game is getting out of control.
Sometimes you're Rick. Sometimes you're Morty.
The goal is to use money so you can eventually not worry about money. Sounds counter intuitive.
Twitter's lack of inline Instagram is still annoying. Remember when we had it? Those were the days.
People who only develop for one platform are part of the problem.
Is anyone playing Splatoon? I might pick it up.
Who wants my jailbroken 6th-gen iPod touch? Details: youtube.com/watch?v=9ripW4…