Please upgrade your browser to make full use of twiends.   chrome   firefox   ie   safari  
Create your own wall, sign in free!
Funny Quotes
comedyquotes 482,976 followers
Dear sleep: I'm sorry we broke up this morning. I want you back.
3h
When you see nice clothes but have no money pic.twitter.com/74W41efBju
5h
goals for 2015: - get rich - get hot
6h
“Be strong.” I whispered to my wifi signal.
7h
Dear Teacher, I talk to everyone, so moving my seat won't help. Sincerely, Student.
7h
When you see your squad in the hallway pic.twitter.com/jRwoIxmiDA
8h
I can't fall asleep right now, I'm too busy counting how many hours of sleep I will get if I fall asleep right now.
Me in class: Wait.... What happened? What do we do? What do we write? When's the test? What is this? How do you do this? What?
When the teacher tells you to stop laughing, and you're just sitting there like pic.twitter.com/1vJWTmhePT
Taking a nap after a long day be like pic.twitter.com/vN6UtuTGci
I need a phone with 500% battery life.
Relationship advice: Find someone who accepts you for the lazy piece of shit that you are..
When people tweet shit & you know the real them 😑�pic.twitter.com/xX3oeb5jHUHU
My snapchat has gotten to the point that if you snap me twice you're in my best friends
High school is a never ending cycle of "just get through this week."
SCHOOL IS STRESSING ME OUT GRADES ARE STRESSING ME OUT WEIGHT IS STRESSING ME OUT ANXIETY IS STRESSING ME OUT MY STRESS IS STRESSING ME OUT
If you’re not losing friends then you’re not growing up.
i am that type of douchebag friend who doesn’t talk with you for weeks but still cares about you and hopes you still care too
wait a minute this isn’t my homework this is twitter how did this happen
me: why am i so fat me: eats 17 pizzas me: eats 49 tubs of ice cream me: eats entire family me: why
remember when eyebrows were made out of hair
hate when i lose something and my parents says "well i guess u didnt care about it enough" like youve lost me in a grocery store before so..
2009: Fruit Ninja 2010: Cut The Rope 2011: Temple Run 2012: Angry Birds 2013: Candy Crush 2014: Now 👉pic-twittrs.in/1yKGeJoF
Phones get thinner and smarter. People get fatter and stupid.
Mom: "Why is everything on the floor?!" Me: "Gravity, mom"
NEVER SAY THIS TO your boyfriend 🙅�pic-twittrs.in/1oS8eV9Am
im done 😂😂😩 rt if u know a nigga like thipic.twitter.com/L1aCfvF0pQ0pQ
When people are discussing answers after the test and you put nothing similar pic.twitter.com/L38VqpnCXv
The awkward moment when everyone is talking during the class but the teacher only hears your voice
3 types of people - people who stay when your life gets rough - people who leave when your life gets rough - people who make your life rough
The best curve on a girl is her smile (: Naw just kidding, look at that ass
The mini heart attack when you're in bed half asleep and you suddenly feel like you're falling.
I sleep less, I'm tired. I sleep more, I'm tired
me: *puts earphones in* me: me: me: me: me: me: me: me: me: me: oh right me: *plays music*
I can't fall asleep right now, I'm too busy counting how many hours of sleep I will get if I fall asleep right now.
When you're the only person in the village without Ebola pic.twitter.com/YpYYH6vrDx
a short poem: do teachers understand that you take other classes
That fake laugh you do when you have no idea what the other person said.
I hate how after an argument I think of more clever shit I should have said.
if i haven't said something extremely sexual to you then we probably aren't good friends
Mom:Clean your room up Me:Why Mom:Because we've got guests coming Me:Oh I'm sorry I didn't realize we were all gathering in my fucking room
The best curve on a girl is her smile (: Naw just kidding, look at that ass
Please never wear a bikini again, Sincerely, accidentally just saw this picture > > pic-twittrs.in/1p1TSVL
It's the best Car for you! >> pic-twittrs.in/Y6Eugx
Roses are red, Twitter is blue... you look bangable, so I'll follow you.