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Funny Quotes
comedy quotes 444,196 followers
do you ever just smell an old perfume, or hear an old song, or pass an old hangout spot and kinda break inside for a couple minutes
I'm single because... • I already have food • People are confusing as heck • I'm never good enough • The person I like, never likes me back
My level of maturity changes depending on who I'm with.
I love when people shut the fuck up
why do parents feel the need to hold your phone when you show them a picture
  2h
*eats 4 slices of pizza* im so full *eats another 4 slices of pizza*
  2h
i was always scared of teenagers when i was little bc i felt like they always glared at me and looked tired and angry and now i understand
  3h
i’m like 102% tired
  3h
THE 7 THINGS I HATE ABOUT YOU: YOU'RE VAIN YOUR GAMES YOU'RE INSECURE YOU LOVE ME YOU LIKE HER YOU MAKE ME LAUGH YOU MAKE ME CRY
  3h
why i love baseball: ⚾baseball players ⚾baseball pants ⚾baseball players in baseball pants
  3h
call me stubborn... but idc, this is me 👌pic.twitter.com/n3zlnWrRJMM
  5h
I get re-pissed about an old situation whenever I have a flashback about it.
  6h
me: better check my phone for texts from friends me: *checks phone* me: better get some friends
  6h
When i care about someone, I really care.
  6h
My mind says go to the gym but my heart says food.
  7h
Girls need to take the hint, GUYS DONT TAKE HINTS. BE STRAIGHT UP WITH US.
  7h
my relationship with my siblings is either “yo I’ll help you hide the body” or “dont even breathe in my direction” there's no in between
  8h
When you start getting hand cramps from writing pic.twitter.com/4ikpHRMY5r
  9h
If Watermelon Exists Why Doesn’t Earthmelon, Firemelon And Airmelon? The Elemelons.
but the saddest part is that i dont give a fuck
every once in a while i check up on people i hate to make sure i still hate them i do
I'm single but I know who I want.