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Funny Quotes
comedy quotes cool 384,850 followers
they call me macklemore in math class because im like what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what
Life is short, SMILE while you still have teeth.
Boys be like: I like your ass I love your boobs..! But really they like this. pic-twittrs.in/1r3VCKX
my neck my back my pizza and my snacks
  1h
*accidentally thinks about something awkward i did three years ago* me: nononononononononononononononononononononononononononono
  1h
Single and failing to mingle. Me in bed: pic.twitter.com/UGFeblupVB
  1h
Free wifi = heaven
  2h
Ignoring your phone when we chill... I like that shit.
  3h
Being single sucks when you know exactly who you want.
  4h
Walking around the kitchen like pac-man when your hungry
  6h
I was fired from my job at the sperm bank. They didn't like me saying "get a load of this guy" everytime someone walked in.
  6h
how can u face your problem if ur problem is ur face
  7h
lol remember when people used to put signatures in their texts and it would be like: "hey what's up" <*-I love dogs-*>
  7h
"It's gonna be okay." ... "Yeah, because it's not happening to you."
  8h
I'm moody like Squidward. Sometimes selfish like Mr. Crabs. A bit dumb like Patrick. But I'll be there for you like SpongeBob.
  8h
Girls............. !!! Signs a Guy Likes You 😍pic-twittrs.in/RKA1039
  9h
I take the L and R on my headphones seriously.
  9h
I'm still waiting for the day that I will actually use x² + y +8 [(x + 2y ² = a-z] + 2x ³ + (- 2z = 2. 4) + 10y - 5Z ³= k= 9 in real life
  9h
Most expensive car in the world!! 😍pic-twittrs.in/1gZRKtoVn
  9h
I don't care about your: age weight sexuality height gender skin color As long as you respect me, I'll respect you...
study....stud....stu....st....s....sl....sle....slee....sleep.
Best joke ever: My love life.
using my mom's money: im going to buy that, and that. $150? im definitely buying that. using my money: $2? maybe that's too much
Celebs without make up -Miley Cyrus🙊 -Taylor Swift😳 -Ariana Grande😩 -Jennifer Lawrence😖 Her➜pic-twittrs.in/1fPGKL6tRqH7iS