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Fortune Feimster
performing comics writers 132,909 followers
I'm pretty sure yoga pants are taking over the world.
Kansas City!! This weekend will be the first time I've ever performed in your city so get your tickets!! improvkc.com
I feel like I'm forgetting somebody's birthday everyday.
I give into peer pressure way too easily. Like yesterday I bought almond milk.
I don't understand why armies don't use the silent treatment to defeat their opponents. Women have been successfully doing this for years.
I'm doing a show in Raleigh, NC at my alma mater April 24. The 9:00 show is open to the public. Tickets & info here: wpeaceu.wufoo.com/forms/fortune-…
So Kate Upton is starring in a comedy? Sure, why not?
And the award for Best Shirtless Performance goes to…your mom. #MTVMovieAwards
Turned on the MTV Movie Awards long enough to see Zac Efron's ridiculous spray tan. That guy should really think about going to the gym.
Sometimes you just gotta have a fancy brunch pic.twitter.com/ujfqXrZh6O
Let's promise that we'll follow each other forever and ever.
Thanks San Fran for the sold out shows last night and for making tshirts with my name on it! pic.twitter.com/07hqbkmXLh
Saw @fortunefunny tonight at the Punchline in San Francisco. Almost peed my pants laughing. One funny lady. #scissorbomb
Retweeted by Fortune Feimster
I'd rather be known for my tits.
Anybody have a good breakfast recommendation near the Financial District in San Fran?
Can you keep it down? I'm trying to secret some shit.
Happy National Siblings Day to my identical twin! pic.twitter.com/ucQWaMcdnZ
I'm into pitbulls and by pitbulls I mean the Cuban kind who wear suits and say things like "dale"
Gettin' my tennis on tonight!! Nothing better than playing doubles with a bunch of fit gay guys.
Cool interview I did with the SF Gate! sfgate.com/performance/ar…
My mom tries to trick me into calling her by saying mysterious things like, "Call me. I have a question."