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Fortune Feimster
I'm up at 6am to be on the TV show "You & Me This Morning" in Chicago so you better tune in so you can see a bunch of girls giggling.
Just had the most ridiculous meal at RPM Steakhouse. Obama just ate there last week so we are twins. This was dessert
Check out @joshwolfcomedy and @jiffywild's funny new video for their Wild Wolf Band!…
Apparently you're supposed to eat chocolate in moderation.
Big shout out to all the people standing up against bullying today with @glaad for #SpiritDay!
I'm in Chicago and my best friend Steve just made me this coffee because he loves me!
I have to leave for the airport in 30 minutes. I should probably pack.
This is where all the magic happens. And by magic I mean writing and drinking coffee.
Chicago!! I've got five shows in your city this weekend. Three in Old Town and two in Rosemont. Get on it!…
Be sure to watch the very funny & lovely @caseyrosewilson on Marry Me tonight! We once did a tango together & I haven't been the same since.
I'm always texting my contractor and he always calls me back. He either loves the sound of my voice or has a terrible data plan.
I miss the days of Destiny's Child and TLC keeping dudes in check.
My favorite guy ever @ChrisFranjola has a comedy album that debuted today! It is SO funny! Get it here:…
@fortunefunny great job last night on Mulaney ... I taught you well!! Lol
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If you haven't told @fortunefunny that she's a good person, please consider doing so. She's a real #GoodPerson :-)
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Loved the @acehotel in Palm Springs! They had dope records in the room & red lights by the bed if u want to get sexy
I call this picture from last night, "reflections." #Deep
Wow, what a night Palm Springs! You made this one of my most memorable evenings ever!
So cool seeing my acting class buddy @fortunefunny on @MulaneyFOX. She's killin it.
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The hilarious @fortunefunny and Maria Thayer guest star on MULANEY TONIGHT 9:30/8:30c on FOX. East coast in 18 mins!
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I will be guest starring on tonight's Mulaney airing at 9:30 on Fox so check it out!
Chicago!! I'm doing five shows in your city this coming weekend! Three in old town and two in Rosemont! Get your tix!
So pumped the Walking Dead is coming back tonight!! And the fact that one of my dear friends @JoshMcDermitt is on the show is a big bonus!
One more show in Palm Springs tonight at 8:30 at the Purple Room!! Last night we all held each other so don't miss out!
Even the palm trees in Palm Springs look like penises! #GayParadise
Everyone go see my HILARIOUS friend Fortune (@fortunefunny) TOMORROW night in Palm Springs! Tix still…
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Palm Springs people! I've got a standup show tonight at 7:00 and one tomorrow night at 8:30! It's at the Purple Room!
Spending my Friday night working with this up and coming actor named Marty Short. Martin if you're being formal.
Somebody needs to take this cheese outta my hand!!
Gay people in my beautiful home state of North Carolina can now get married! Amazing! Congrats to you guys!
@fortunefunny Kinda awesome you knew even back then men are best kept at arm's length.
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I'm laying down some serious #TBT! Yes, that is me as a debutante. What?!
Noooooo!!! Not Jan Hooks!! I always wanted to be one of the Sweeney Sisters. Ugh, we can't lose any more funny people this year.
1. Denial 2. Anger 3. Bargaining 4. Depression 5. Acceptance - The five stages of realizing your best friend is now “gluten-free.”
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If you live in Palm Springs, I'm doing two shows there THIS Saturday and Sunday night at the Purple Room!!
Hey stranger! If there are a million empty seats around us at the airport, do you really have to sit right next to me? #ItIsTooEarlyForThat
Since we couldn't to see @fortunefunny tonight, I think we need to have a YouTube night and watch all of her videos :) @treycelately13
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Pretty sure I just got hit on by a 75-year-old lesbian. Well, she asked where the Starbucks was but that's pretty much the same thing.
Someone just called me ma'am, not sir! My feminine wiles are finally shining through!
I've already come up with three new characters just in the first 30 minutes of my layover in Houston.
Hendrix College!! I am up at 4am for you! Hope to see you guys at the show tonight! 8pm. Student Life Center. Open to the public too!