Please upgrade your browser to make full use of twiends.   chrome   firefox   ie   safari  
Olov Forsgren
Life is what happens to you when you're busy making other plans. #quote
A city is a large community where people are lonesome together. #quote
Robyn leaves home for University and after several weeks she turns up at home in quite a distressed state. 'Dad,...
Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them. #quote
Friends come and go, enemies accumulate. #quote
Information: How geese are supposed to fly.
A young accountant spends a week at his new office with the retiring accountant he is replacing. Each and every...
Could crop circles be the work of a cereal killer? #quote
Crime doesn't pay, does that mean my job is a crime? #quote
Don't be humble, you're not that great. #quote
The German controllers at Frankfurt Airport were often short-tempered. They not only expected you to know your...
How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on. #quote
Everyone leaves the world a little better, some by leaving. #quote
Help wanted: Telepath. You know where to apply. #quote
An insurance rep, a sales assistant and their manager are walking to lunch when they find an old oil lamp. The...
All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand. #quote
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. #quote
Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted. #quote
The managing partner in an accounting firm is very annoyed with one of his junior partners and has called him in...
How come wrong numbers are never busy? #quote
Difficult to read even with glasses, right?
Emergency numbers: Telephone numbers for: police station, fire department, ambulance and places that deliver pizzas.
Not all men are fools; Some are bachelors.
How did you do in your tests ? I did what George Washington did ! What was that ? Went down in history !
I have a strong will but a weak won't.
Hear and you forget; see and you remember; do and you understand.
The person who knows how to laugh at himself will never cease to be amused.
Tower: Lufthansa 893, you're number one, check for workers on the taxiway. Pilot: Roger ..... We've checked, they're all working.
Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain.
If the opposite of pro is con, then what must be the opposite of progress? #quote
Why do you need a driver's licence to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?
Mosquito: An insect that makes you like flies better.
I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder. #quote
Don't tell me how hard you work. Tell me how much you get done. #quote
Middle age is when you are warned to slow down by a doctor instead of a policeman.
Have you ever thought about it in this way?
If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything.
Never interrupt your enemy while they are making a mistake.
We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.
Eight year old Sally brought her report card home from school. Her marks were good, mostly A's and a couple of...
If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
Lead me not into temptation. I can find the way myself.

Twitter Sign-in
We are going to send you to Twitter to authorize twiends.
Please note that we never tweet or follow people without your permission.