My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right.
Corporation: An ingenious device for obtaining profit without individual responsibility. - Ambrose Bierce
A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don't need it.
I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
Pessimists have already begun to worry about what is going to replace automation.
Progress may have been all right once, but it went on too long.
Security depends not so much upon how much you have as upon how much you can do without.
Ability is a good thing but stability is even better.
The farther away the future is, the better it looks.
Commonwealth, n. International political organisation to make wealth common in the UK. - Rudyh
A consensus means that everyone agrees to say collectively what no one believes individually.
Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
The only knowledge that can hurt you is the knowledge you don't have.
Asking dumb questions is easier than correcting dumb mistakes.
I don't understand people who say life is a mystery, because what is it they want to know? #quote
I think in one of my previous lives I was a mighty king, because I like people to do what I say.
Just about the time when you think you can make ends meet, somebody moves the ends.
Do you want to speak to the manager or someone who knows what's going on?
My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.
Hospitality: making your guests feel like they're at home, even if you wish they were.
You can always get a job in international affairs because 90% of everything happens in a foreign country.
Afternoon: that part of the day we spend worrying about how we wasted the morning.
People with narrow minds usually have broad tongues.
A penny saved has not been spent.
Baby-sitter: Teenager who must behave like an adult so that the adults who are out can behave like teenagers.
The dictionary is the only place where success comes before work.
Argument: A discussion that occurs when you're right, but the other just hasn't realized yet.
All good things must come to an end, I just want to know when they start!
An elderly man goes into a brothel and tells the madam he would like a young girl for the night. Surprised, she... fb.me/3sMQvfSgj
If you do something right once, someone will ask you to do it again.
There are two kinds of people who don't say much: those who are quiet and those who talk a lot.
Is this typical? fb.me/19LMAuztF
Anyone who is popular is bound to be disliked.
Bubba had long heard the stories of an amazing family tradition. It seems that his father, grandfather and... fb.me/2tk6qa3pg
Architect, n.: One who drafts a plan of your house, and plans a draft of your money. - Ambrose Bierce
Each problem solved introduces a new unsolved problem.
Common Sense : Genius dressed up in working clothes. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
A woman and a baby were in the doctor's examining room, waiting for the doctor to come in for the baby's first... fb.me/3N8gyQlGX
My problem is that I appeal to everyone that can do me absolutely no good. #quote
Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
All warranties expire upon payment of invoice.
A man goes into a cocktail lounge and approaches little old Maxine sitting by herself... "May I buy you a... fb.me/LqRtJuu2
As the economy gets better, everything else gets worse.
All probabilities are really 50%. Either a thing will happen or it won't.
The solving of a problem lies in finding the solvers.
A big-city lawyer was representing the railroad in a lawsuit filed by an old rancher. The rancher's prize bull... fb.me/4rh0owIvd