Don't cry because its over, smile because it happened.
Examine what is said, not who speaks. #quote
War does not determine who is right, only who is left. #quote
Teacher: Four beautiful ladies r walking on the road. ~ Change it to exclamatory sentence...
All there is to it, right? fb.me/85K90Fkxa
Military justice: is to justice what military music is to music. - Groucho Marx
Have you been missing the great poems by my friend Asghar Nazeer?
Here is one I found today. I also found this:... fb.me/7cngRAABI
Take you time but not more tan a minute. fb.me/LvRswKiy
Always do what Mom says, right? fb.me/85uPZy0dJ
A smoking section in a restaurant is like a peeing section in a swimming pool. #quote
Optimist: Someone without much experience. #quote
One night, a torrential rain soaked South Louisiana; the next morning the resulting floodwaters came up about 6... fb.me/7nYUw0XwA
It's the only type of cooking a 'real' man will do. When a man volunteers to do such cooking, the following chain... fb.me/7zGVv1EsZ
Smith & Wesson: The original point and click interface. #quote
Better: What we instantly feel when we realize our neighbor's problems are as bad as our own
A free society is one where it is safe to be unpopular. #quote
Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
I never think of the future. It comes soon enough.
Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
Counterfeiter: Individual who prints illegally what governments prints legally - Rudyh.
It's not the fall that kills you; it's the sudden stop at the end.
A husband leaves the house to go pick up dinner for he and his wife. Shortly after leaving, the doorbell rings.... fb.me/5ntela21n
I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness. #quote
I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.
Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
A man was walking down the street when he was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man... fb.me/6zodZNj6D
A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.
A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.
People tend to make rules for others and exceptions for themselves.
People don't care how much you know until they know how much you care.
My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right.
A little boy got on the bus, sat next to a man reading a book, and noticed he had his collar on backwards. The... fb.me/4Lk5wQ1Lq
Corporation: An ingenious device for obtaining profit without individual responsibility. - Ambrose Bierce
A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don't need it.
I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
Judi stormed up to the front desk of the library and said, "I have a complaint!"
"I borrowed a... fb.me/5QtW8Xt66
How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
Pessimists have already begun to worry about what is going to replace automation.
Progress may have been all right once, but it went on too long.
Security depends not so much upon how much you have as upon how much you can do without.
Ability is a good thing but stability is even better.
The farther away the future is, the better it looks.
Commonwealth, n. International political organisation to make wealth common in the UK. - Rudyh
A cowboy rode into town and stopped at a saloon for a drink. Unfortunately, the locals always had a habit of... fb.me/4gQal1dPg
A consensus means that everyone agrees to say collectively what no one believes individually.
Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
A man goes skydiving. After a fantastic free fall he pulls the rip cord to open his parachute but nothing... fb.me/7yplQrM9z