One can not choose when and how to die. The only thing to decide is how to live. - Johan Baez
Joe took his blind date to the carnival. "What would you like to do first, Kim?" asked Joe.
"I want to get... fb.me/Kc7Gb4em
Whenever I go near my bank I get withdrawal symptoms.
It's hard to stay calm when you are idle.
Courage is often lack of knowledge whereas cowardice in many cases is based on good information. - Peter Ustinov
A local United Way office realized that the organization had never received a donation from the town's most... fb.me/7tlrnh3JR
It never lies so much as before an election, during a war, and after a hunt. - Otto von Bismarck
It is always the wrong people who have bad conscience. - Erich Maria Remarque
Of all hypocrisy, modesty is the most agreeable one. - Olle Holmberg
If a black cat crosses your path, it means that the animal is going somewhere. - Groucho Marx
An airline captain was breaking in a new blonde stewardess. The route they were flying had a layover in another... fb.me/1nkec3ULm
If you go as far as you can see, you will from there, be able to see far enough to go even further. - John Wooden
I sure can keep a secret. It's those I revile it to who can't.
The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat. Lily Tomlin
It is with words as with sunbeams - the more they are concentrated in the deeper they burn.
It is hard to find happiness within ourselves, but impossible to find it anywhere else. - Sebastian Chamfort
We should concern ourselves less about what others think of us if we realized how seldom they actually do it.
Two elderly women were out driving in a large car -- both could barely see over the dashboard. As they were... fb.me/2NFETiTkj
Few things are as satisfying as watching our children have their own teenagers. - Doug Larson
There will be no crisis next week. My pocket diary is already full. - Henry Kissinger
A modest man is usually admired - if anyone ever notice him. - Edgar Watson Howe
The teacher: "Why is it, we some times call our language, mother tongue?"
A student: "The father is never allowed to say anything!"
There is no joy to be idle, the fun is to have a lot to do and not bother to do it. - Mary Wilson Little
Reality is the leading cause of stress among those in touch with it. - Lily Tomlin
A: I'm in a big trouble!
B: Why is that?
A: I saw a mouse in my house!
B: Oh, well, all you need to do is use a... fb.me/1IiPU0D2G
Experience is knowing a lot of things that we should not do. - William S Knudsen
It's great the lie is available - for what if all you heard was true. - Albert Engström
Officer: You were speeding.
Man: No, I wasn't.
Officer: Yes, you were. I'm giving you a ticket.
Man: But I wasn't... fb.me/1HqkiyeEJ
The trick is to make sure that you do not die while waiting for the good life. - Lee Iacocca
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I will be there, how about you?
I will be there, how about you? fb.me/4Pe570pcB
No one is so modest that he does not like to hear praise.
If you have to pay to go to the river, we'd better stop at the bank.
Our Lord has created the nuts but he has not cracked them. - Goethe
If you want your dreams to come true, you must not sleep too long.
At a dinner party, several of the guests were arguing whether men or women were more trustworthy.
"No woman,"... fb.me/7ujh4yYyh
It is difficult to give away kindness. It will always be returned to you. - Cort Flint
I do not eat organic food. At my age you need all the preservatives we can get. - George Burns
Seems an elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years.
He went to the doctor and the... fb.me/14uSoGA7e
I'd rather realize that I don't know everything, and be right, than think I know everything, and be wrong. - Linda Poindexter
Who ever invented work, needs to retire. - Chris Wells
Psychologists have discovered that the manner in which people eat Oreo cookies provides great insight into their... fb.me/vp81H2C2
A guy will miss you when your gone, but won't notice you when your there. - Griselle
You never forget what you remember.closequote. - Lynnm.
Love is the condition of mind when mind is out of condition.
Theres no " I " in team but theres a ' U ' in cunt.
In this world someone is dependant on someone for something at sometime.
If we expect the unexpected, wouldn't that make the unexpected the expected.
Bitches ain't nothin but tricks and hoes. - Ghandi
I will be there, how about you? fb.me/4htn5vBhu