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Olov Forsgren

If you're too open-minded your brains may fall out.
Anyone who says 'Easy as taking candy from a baby' has never tried it.
It doesn't matter what temperature the room is. It's always room-temperature.
Teacher: Four beautiful ladies r walking on the road. ~ Change it to exclamatory sentence... Student: WOW!
Education is what you get from reading the small print. Experience is what you get from not reading it.
Why is it drive up ATM's have braile.
Dictators, are they considered being politicians?
Q~ What do u call a woman in heaven? A~ An Angel. Q~ A crowd of woman in heaven? A~ A host of Angels. Q~ And all... fb.me/7sWmvaxNy
Procrastination is the greatest laborsaving invention of all time.
Middle age is the time in life when, after pulling in your stomach, you look as if you ought to pull in your stomach.
Romance often begins by a splashing waterfall and ends over a leaky sink.
At New York's Kennedy airport today, an individual later discovered to be a public school teacher was arrested... fb.me/49d38DbYj
Never be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic.
I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.
Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.
One night, a torrential rain soaked South Louisiana; the next morning the resulting floodwaters came up about 6... fb.me/4GHwtfgUW
Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; the trouble starts when they try to decide which one.
The direct use of force is such a poor solution to any problem, it is generally employed only by small children and large nations.
Marriages are made in heaven. But so again, are thunder and lightning.
It's the only type of cooking a 'real' man will do. When a man volunteers to do such cooking, the following chain... fb.me/6R8ihRReU
Empty pockets never held anyone back. Only empty heads and empty hearts can do that. - Norman Vincent Peale
The price of excellence is discipline. The cost of mediocrity is disappointment.
It's not what you have, it's what you do with what you have.
Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose woman. The priest asked, "Is that you, little... fb.me/6OAWYUVgX
Pretty cool. I created this in minutes - olov-forsgren.branded.me via branded.me
Money can’t buy you happiness, but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.
Laughing is the best medicine but if you are laughing for no reason, you need medicine.
Sorry but your password must contain an uppercase letter, a number, a haiku, a gang sign, a hieroglyph, and the blood of a virgin.
An Englishman is having breakfast, in Paris, one morning (coffee, croissants, bread, butter and jam) when a... fb.me/7TKMKfFD3
When I was born I was so in shock, I didn't talk for a year and a half.
My life is all math. I am trying to add to my income, subtract from my weight, divide my time, and avoid multiplying.
A wise man will never tell his wife to keep quiet. He will tell her she looks beautiful with her mouth closed.
As a bagpiper, I play many gigs. Recently I was asked by a funeral director to play at a graveside service for a... fb.me/7A87XdmGi
All other pregnant woman give birth to a baby, while my mother gave birth to a legend.
No matter what anyone says, my cooking is excellent, even the smoke alarm seems to be cheering me on!
A husband leaves the house to go pick up dinner for he and his wife. Shortly after leaving, the doorbell rings.... fb.me/2imduYzXG
I love everybody. Some I love to be around, some I love to avoid, and others I would love to punch in the face!
A dad is on his way home a bit late from the office when he realises that it's his daughter's birthday and he has... fb.me/4VT9XJc3C
Life was so much easier when Apple and Blackberry were just fruits!
Common sense is so rare it should be considered a superpower nowadays.
A man was walking down the street when he was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man... fb.me/7tDNI4JAc
If you think the things I say out loud are bad, you should hear the things that I keep to myself!
A traveler became lost in the Sahara desert. Realizing his only chance for survival was to find civilization, he... fb.me/7x0u94zcc
Pain makes you stronger. Tears make you braver. Heartbreak makes you wiser. And vodka makes you not remember any of that crap.
Im having one of those days where my middle finger is answering all my questions.
My level of sarcasm is to a point where I don't even know if I'm kidding or not.
An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings on display at that time. "I... fb.me/4nijMSa97
Pretty cool. I created this in minutes - olov-forsgren.branded.me via branded.me
I speak 4 languages: English, Profanity, Sarcasm, and Real shit.

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