Sorry I have been gone for the last two days, my son had a quick story to tell me
I wish the bags under my eyes had money in them.
Please continue to underestimate my intelligence..
Women say they have to work twice as hard for half the pay as men. Well, men have to tweet twice as clever for half the followers as women.
Is it a question if there's no question mark at the end.
I want nothing but positive vibes surrounding me.
definitions are subjective
Reading you fan letters always puts a smile on my face! Sending signed pics back! :) #GiveBack pic.twitter.com/BUJbsgVXPZ
Every set back is a set up for a comeback.
can't stand when the commercials are louder than show I'm watching and I have to turn volume back and forth.. #firstworldproblems
When your friend's laugh is more funny than the joke that was told >> 😂😭😂😂
Adventured 2,000 miles around Queensland :) Did the opening scene where Captain Cook landed in 1770! :) pic.twitter.com/BzKOJtO5Ro
The first of Jay-Z's 99 problems is the obsessive compulsive disorder that requires him to know his precise number of problems at all times.
Enjoy the video everyone! Please SHARE with everyone you know...youtu.be/9ivpnchx08o
It's funny how the worst things happen at the worst possible time...
Why is it so hard to find a woman who loves me for me and not the person I lied and manipulated her into thinking I am?
I follow small accounts, they have something new to say, just the way kids inspire adults & adults copy them but asks kids to shut up.
bring clean water to people in the land of one thousand hills. #KloutForGood klout.com/s/forgood/char…
Violence is for people who don't know how to crush egos.
Apologizing doesn't mean the other person is right. It means other person is stubborn.
Awesome skinny jeans, bro. Where do you keep your balls stashed while you wear those? Did they come with a convenient carrying case?
If I just walked away would anyone come looking for me...
I'll never understand why people feel the need to bully others. You do your thing, and let other people do theirs. Forreal.
When you think you have a thing with a stranger you see in public and then you never see them again. THANKS OBAMA.
Everyone remember to look after your ears. Don't turn up the sound too loud. Your ears are your key to your voice
I could totally go for some pizza right now.
The outback was an amazing place to explore! This was a special fly-get-away-er that I made :) pic.twitter.com/mPyH5d8B9m
Twitter is where the brilliant but socially inept reign. Your looks and fancy car won't help you here. This is clever people's territory.
to help Haitians change Haiti through education klout.com/s/forgood/hait…
@TheMoralGuide @ForeverAsking @patcondell
Wow!! Yeah he's gorgeous, but not his fault if females can't keep their hands off him!
Research shows that what people believe is not shaken on seeing evidence to the contrary.
Are there living people today who clearly are as wise as these legendary dead people from centuries ago?
thanks for following us Josh :)
Reason why most people come on Twitter is looking for a imaginary friends from different time zones.
I think it's fair to question whether or not Barack Obama is an American. I mean, look at him.
He's awfully thin...
I was thinking of opening a bar for ugly women. It would be called .... The Kennel
First love is meant to happen, maybe temporary or permanent, but whether it is or not, it truly is unforgettable.