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Funny Laugh
comedy fun funnytweets jokes 224,526 followers
If you’re a sarcastic asshole, come sit with me because I'm one too.
That awkward moment when you don't know whether you're in love or just horny.
I had no idea Instagram was down until a girl in front of me at Starbucks cancelled her order saying, "Instagram is down, it's useless."
When people tattoo the name of their boyfriend or girlfriend on themselves and then break up. =)))
When karma comes back to punch you in the face, i want to be there.. just in case it needs help.
"Mom,can I wear a dress?" "No" "Mom can I wear makeup?" "No" "Mom,can I have a boyfriend?" "No" "But mom, I'm 18!" "I know Kevin, I know..."
Headphones in, problems out.
Having a mini heart attack when you think you've lost your phone.
American presidents: ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☻.
Rearrange these words: 1) PNEIS 2) HTIELR 3) NGGERI 4) BUTTSXE You got; Spine, lither, ginger and subtext, right?
Stress is caused by giving a fuck.
You're absolutely right, all guys are the same. It has nothing to do with you exclusively dating douchebags.
That awkward moment when Santa has the same wrapping paper as your mom.
I wish there were minions instead of insects.
Twitter didn't ruin my life. I was already a loser before I joined this website.
Friend: let's go to a party me: I can't i'm ugly
Me: I won't get jealous me: who's this fucking whore
A poem about bugs: If it can fly, it should die..
I'm not even on drugs, I'm just weird.
With random people, I'm shy. With my friends, I'm crazy.
Why is the internet always 100% more interesting when you have homework?
I heard that Oxygen and Magnesium are going out. I was like OMg.
I have to stop saying "How stupid can you be?" I think people are taking it as a challenge.
CHILD PHOTOGRAPHY. If you read that wrong, you might have a problem.
Person: Oh my god! Did you just fall?! Me: No, The floor looked lonely, So I kissed it.