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Funny Laugh™
when you're at the movies and someone has to walk in front of you in the aisle
"truth or dare" "Dare" "Order us pizza"
i need $$$$$ not feelings
Revenge? Nah, I'm too lazy. I'm gonna sit here and let karma fuck you up.
everyone annoys me
r u from europe because europiece of shit
my talents include: fangirling eating tweeting obsessing crying shipping myself with people missing follow sprees not sleeping
14 year olds are skippin the ugly stage. Put down the contour kit and stick a foundation 5 shades darker than ur face, it's tradition.
Do you ever have that outfit you wear so often you think "Yes, this is the outfit I’d be drawn in everyday if I was a cartoon"
me: i'm not drunk me: *stands up* me: holy shit i'm fucking wasted
Did you fall from heaven? Because your face is fucked.
When you were a kid, "I'm going to tell your mom" was the scariest sentence ever.
When someone tells me to lower the volume, I lower it but then I slowly raise it back up.
I'm in a relationship with sleep and I get some every night... and if I'm lucky, I get some during the day.
*stays home* i should’ve gone out *goes out* i should’ve stayed home
me: im tired me: *does everything except sleep*
relationship goals: having one
When your mom makes you try on clothes you hate
Fifty shades of grey is romantic only because the guy is a billionaire. If he was living in a trailer it would be a Criminal minds episode.
primary source of income: when my mom gives me money to buy something and doesn’t ask for the change back
i’d rather eat a salad than go to school
Pretty much my favorite photoshopped picture of all time
rt if u have no bae
*smiles at bitch who hates me*
189% done with this weather
This is why you gotta take bitches swimming on the first date
some bitch: omg u wore that shirt the other day me: yeah well in my house we have this amazing thing called a washing machine
girls all go to the bathroom together because that's where we rap battle
*fixes my sleep schedule* *ruins it the very next day*
still working on myself, for myself
People who make me laugh until I'm physically in pain are my favorite kind of people
whenever u feel sad just remember that there are billions of cells in ur body and all they care about is u
"you're so quiet" i speak, just not to u
Party party party, lets all get wasted
Alcohol is just fun water
People with clear skin annoy me
why test on animals when there r people who r rude to waiters
"swearing is unattractive" i don't fucking care
nudes is a 5 letter word send is a 4 letter word 5 minus 4 is 1 just 1 nude can change a nigga's night. pretty simple math
Sometimes the people you want as part of your story are only meant to be a chapter.
My vocabulary during school -what -are you sure -OK -shut the fuck up -why am I here -I should just leave -fuck that -fuck this -I’m done