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Funny Laugh
parents: YOUR ROOM IS SUCH A MESS me: you should see my life
*Sends risky text* 15 seconds later no reply. "Oh God what have I done!"
school is really getting in the way of my life
plot twist: a butterfly gets a tattoo of a slut on her back
to be honest i find it hard to believe that theres someone out there that would be able to spend the rest of their life with me
Can I just sleep until Christmas?
Miley Cyrus is releasing a new fragrance called “Twerk“, its just Billy Ray's tears in a bottle
Don't text me back "K" you might as well just put "Fuck you"
Studies show that if theres gonna be free food I will show up 100% of the time
I can't sing... Doesn't mean I wont.
God: "I created the Earth for all humanity... Except for Antartica, that's for penguins, I like penguins."
my meals in the summer breakfast: 3pm dinner: 11pm more food: 1am midnight snack: 4am
can bob the builder fix ur shitty attitude
When you hit your pinky toe on the edge of the table
sometimes i drop things and am too lazy to pick them up, like pencils, or my hopes and dreams
Now I remember why I stopped talking to certain people
Hearing my own voice on a recording makes me want to apologize to every single person I've ever talked to, like I'm really sorry.
i don’t understand people who make multiple facebook statuses every day like wtf i haven’t made a facebook status since like world war 2
the reason high school is so difficult is because ned never made a guide for anything past eighth grade.
And here are people we don't want to see in the clubs...…
Make fun of Kim kardashian’s name choice for North West if you want, but that baby is going straight to the top. And slightly to the left.
I sleep so peacefully at night, knowing that Im single and that there's no one out there cheating on me
Have you ever just sat their and realized how weird you are?
The longest five seconds of life is waiting to press the "Skip Ad" button on YouTube.
"One Direction" has 12 letters. So does "gayyyyyyyyyy". Coincidence? I think not.
Me studying: Writes down 3 words Checks twitter Changes song Gets snack Sneezes Contemplates life Loses place in notes Falls asleep
Doctor: Are you sexually active? Me: I'm not even physically active.
That awkward moment when you’re talking to yourself and start to smile like an idiot, because you’re so hilarious.
im tired of things costing money
I complain about not getting enough sleep, yet I stay up late for no reason.
Be careful whose toes you step on today because they might be connected to the foot that kicks your ass tomorrow.
Depressed? Earphones in. Volume up. Ignore the world.
all i want for christmas is like 10 billion dollars and a puppy
And then Satan said, "Put the alphabet in math..."
i hate it when im singing a song and someone joins me like excuse me this is not high school musical so back off
Whatever you do, always give 100%. Unless you're donating blood
something romantic but no these are just gardening facts.
I don't want a job, I just want money
I'm sorry if i've ever told you the same story twice its just that i dont have an interesting life and cool things rarely happen to me
If Plan A doesn't work, the alphabet has 25 more letters.
50 Shades of I Hate Everyone.
We’ve all had that awkward moment where we accidentally touched our friend’s boob
we've all had crushes we very strongly regret
life is so hard when you have twenty tv shows to watch
True friends say good things behind you back and bad things to your face