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EyeSanity
Kinda mad that I cant breathe underwater..
I'm made of sarcasm and sexual frustration..
*steals ur girl, mom finds out and makes me return her and apologize*
Doctor: do you drink or smoke? Me: no Doctor: (under his breath) what a loser
Planes are a very endangered specie and it's rare to see them out in their natural habitat.. pic.twitter.com/fYlBvGxuWH
Me trying to find some rich and about to die to marry.. pic.twitter.com/yR2BlNgiwA
*fake coughs under breath* sexist pic.twitter.com/SlOrvkeIRJ
The question should be, "Have I never thought of this?" pic.twitter.com/LfxUy9QpnR
Holy crap I just tried it and it works.. By the way can I crash at one of your places tonight? pic.twitter.com/xLCuKX8Rw9
Going to Mcdonald’s for a salad is like going to a prostitute for a hug...
@EyeSanity he'd have gotten the chairs in texas
Retweeted by EyeSanity
QUICK THERE’S NO TIME GRAB MY BONER
I'm not sure how want to taste his vanilla cream.. pic.twitter.com/yI8T0Zn83u
That doesn't look like a paper plate to me.. pic.twitter.com/XZHFwDk1r2
200% sure that all of my friend have secret meetings where they just talk about how annoying I am..
Someone needs to throw Brendon behind bars.. pic.twitter.com/PtNvQb1em7
Maybe I am maybelline..
I was addicted to soap once.. I'm all clean now. pic.twitter.com/j0MptxqHjo
Can't be a vegan.... They would have told you about it. pic.twitter.com/yNdMYUrkAL
Looks like it's going to be a little nippy.. pic.twitter.com/XneepufCdx
Forcing my friends to go on my Twitter.. pic.twitter.com/zKs79dLDUz
That's not even her final form.. pic.twitter.com/KTI4Q31sPv
"How the hell do you get out of this place???" pic.twitter.com/ssBOA1M3RN
I'm ready to go in, coach, just give me a chance. I know there's a lot of riding on it, but it's all psychological... pic.twitter.com/06bo8xvJf0
I get insanely uncomfortable when people have their own selfies as their phone wallpaper...
I'm ok with spending $40 on food but I wont buy a $40 shirt..
That moment when friends make plans in front of you but don’t invite you..