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EyeSanity
If they didn't want me to eat raw cookie dough then they should only sell finished cookies..
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Flying to America tomorrow just so I can finally watch this YouTube video that won't let me view it in my country..
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Can we all please stop torturing flowers just to see if your crush loves you or not..
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I want a relationship like Gomez and Morticia.. #RelationshipGoals
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Me: I can't stand theft.. People should get a job and stop stealing.. Me: *llegally downloads 20 mp3s and 12 movies*
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Has anyone really got their lunch money taken from a bully or is this just a myth?
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This 2 year endless mental conversation with myself about weather I should have eaten that piece of pizza that fell on the ground..
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This is so fake.. I mean those shower curtains are defiantly photoshopped.. pic.twitter.com/mMSC2SxJjm
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I finally found God... He was behind the curtain. Now it's my turn to hide...
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If you didn't want me to jerk off in your store then you shouldn't of had free wifi...
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*accidentally goes the wrong direction, pretends I forgot something to avoid embarrassment*
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It's just sometimes I want to be in the funny video and for my cat to film it..
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*too lazy to Skype, screams out the window*
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Me: Should I buy this? Brain: No Wallet: No Girlfriend: No Siblings: No Cat: No Dog: No Universe: No Me: .... I'm going to buy it.
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*goes to pancake house* Waiter: what would you like sir? Me: just fuck me up..
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*lifts shirt, no six pack* that's right ladies.. I'm a one woman guy. pic.twitter.com/UxPwKfRjYj
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Of course in the second frame the black one has a bigger penis.. pic.twitter.com/D4mR2sHNCk
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*looks forward to the day plastic bags become currency*
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If movies have taught me anything, every white girl has a credit card for emergencies..
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I don't get this picture.. What's with the floating jacket? pic.twitter.com/71p8oLlRzx
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Those indents on your thighs when you been on the toilet for an hour or three..
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Right now at this very moment the Prime Minister could be masturbating and the thought of this scares me..
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I have thought about nothing but you all day.. Wanting to get home, get out of these clothes, jump in bed & turn you on. I love you Netflix.
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Almost lost control of my car this morning as the roads are wet from the tears of One Direction fans..
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Fuck you life for giving me lemons but no tequila to drink with them..
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If I worked at Starbucks I would serve decaf to those customers that piss me off..
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I wasn't waving at you idiot.. I was waving at your dog.
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You can't believe it's not butter, I can't believe I'm up this fucking early on my day off...
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*Hears roommate having sex, kicks door down* Player 3 has entered!!
Retweeted by EyeSanity