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EyeSanity
Let me take that advice and file it under "fuck it"..
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So you say swearing is unattractive? Lucky I don't give a fuck about my looks.
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If your girl has been quite for the last half hour there is a chance she's been taking a selfie..
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Didn't she try taking a snickers from Chris Brown a few years ago? pic.twitter.com/IYqzZPZVq4
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An apple falling with a note already taken out.. Seems legit. pic.twitter.com/jy3QeaUj5w
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I'm not like most girls.. I'm a guy.
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Still seeing a therapist about this growing up issue....
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I would probably get into less trouble if I would just shut my mouth more often..
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Life Hack: Change your name by deed poll twice and you won't ever be chased for paying back student loans..
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*Opens pizza box slowly for dramatic effect*
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Twitter.. Where everybody’s horny and nobody’s having sex.
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First rule of fight club... No pulling my hair.
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I just burnt 1200 calories.... I gotta learn how to bake a pizza properly.
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So the government won't support gay marriage but will tax a gay couple as a de facto relationship...
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Nipples harder than Rachel on "Friends"...
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If you have to change yourself to be with that someone else than they are not the right person for you.. #serioustweet
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I do my best to make sure I'm in the background of as many tourist photos as possible..
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I'll eat soup with a fork before washing a spoon... #lazy
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That moment after drawing on your hand with a pen where you have to wash of the blood from the person who said you'll get ink poisoning..
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The only time I'm never exhausted is when I'm in bed..
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Sweat pants - the outfit worn by those who always workout and those who never work out..
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The crosswalk button should make it go faster the faster you hit it..
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*walks into club, looks around* nope *walks out of club*
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"Not sure if the dress is grey and grey or grey and grey.." - Dogs #TheDress #whiteandgold #blackandblue
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Get to know your date: Ask them their first pets name, their favourite movie & their moms maiden name, then login and read all their shit.
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Right now your favourite Celebrity could be on the loo....
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*Knocks on your door* Can your dog come out and play today?
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*trys to fake death to get out of family function*
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Maybe I should have said "congratulations" instead of, "are you keeping it?"..
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I like to sit next to a bird nest and sing in case the bird is writing his first novel...
Retweeted by EyeSanity