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EyeSanity
He can't help but look at the hole.. It's a golfers instinct. pic.twitter.com/uH8WNANXai
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When your teacher asks you to hand in your essay but you're Mexican and don't want to be a snitch...
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When you drop your spoon into the bowl of cereal and you have to drink your way to the spoon..
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My phone went from 98% to 41% just tweeting this picture.. pic.twitter.com/qnrcckM9La
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*me about to shave my beard* Me: hoe don't do it Me: *shaves beard* Me: oh my god
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Looking forward to the next feature of the X-Men series.. pic.twitter.com/gd3M1WuASk
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That 20 min of death when waiting for your pizza after you order it..
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*Blows bubble, spends 3 minutes getting bubble gum out of beard*
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*moves to a nudist colony because he can't afford clothes*
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Food will always taste better when you take it from another person..
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I saw my neighbour still has his Xmas lights up and I am thinking he may be dead..
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Right at this very moment a teenager is pissed off because their mother didn't close their door...
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Why doesn't the pope just bless the whole ocean?
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I read the dead tattooed tree before it was a movie...
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*Swallows pills without water* hardcore af
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Life Hack: Ladies save time by only shaving one leg and then walk next to walls...
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I'll ask my mum if I can send you nudes...
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*types without looking at keyboard, accidentally hacks NASA*
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Useless Fact: A Buttload of dildos is only one dildo...
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Nah it's cool, it’s fine, I'll just text myself back...
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*precisely determines where I should take next bite of Taco*
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Have you ever imagined what happened 10 Thousand years ago in the very spot that you are in right now...
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*still thinks about world Championship Wrestling when he sees #WCW on Twitter*
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Anyone know how to travel the world on a budget? I have like... $7.
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Fun size chocolate bars become just chocolate bars after you have eaten 30...
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iPhone's need a Mirror filter... Because I swear I looked better in the mirror than I did in this selfie.
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Thankyou "Spooning" for confusing my penis...
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Well time for my cardio workout.. *masturbates*
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Please don't be one of those people that scream when the lights go out...
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Anyone know how to get my sex tape on Netflix?
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*violently screams as he stretches *
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*sends risky DM* Me: Nothing could possibly go wrong.. Anxiety: Actually...
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I wanted to gain money and lose weight.. Not the other way round.
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Them: If you keep listening to your music that loudly you are going to go deaf.. Me: What?
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Just burnt a Pokemon.. Now all I have is Ash.
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Laughing at a joke you don’t understand then having someone ask you to explain it...
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Taking off your headphones ever 2 minutes because anxiety takes over and you think someone is calling your name...
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