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Elise Schreiner
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Yo for real, SCREW SCHOOL! I mean imma still go, imma still go tho.
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too much salt in your life can lead to high blood pressure
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I would offer you salt for your popcorn but you're already salty enough 💯💯
I don't want the bae to call me hot or sexy. I want to be looked in the eyes ... and told "u da real MVP"
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gonna start an ice cream shop called legendairy
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the wind in my hair. the sand beneath my feet. the mustard on my beat.
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*Playing a ouija board* "Identify yourself" I-T-S A M-E L-U-I-G-I "What the fu-" *checks box* "dammit mom this is a Luigi Board"
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The early 2000s seemed like such a great time. So fashionable and peaceful. Times were much better back then pic.twitter.com/X5AU0uqob7
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Kim K got paid $43 million dollars to take those photos, some of yall sending nudes for free and not even getting a text back. 😂😂
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Michelle Obama? The one whose favorite fall vegetable is a sweet potato? Ya I know her, Why, whats up? :-)
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Rt for Alex Greatti Fav for Alex fromTarget
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The Fall Dance decorations are looking awesome! Make sure you buy your ticket for $40 by the end of this week pic.twitter.com/zlueTRSW7R
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Girls are probably the worst creation on the planet
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when the squad bout' to pass you the aux cord but you have nothing new to bump pic.twitter.com/v6NNIZN5mA
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Karly not everything you see on the internet is true babe pic.twitter.com/cdQYDHtNKJ
Breaks my heart that pirates spend their whole lives following a map, when the real treasure is the friendships they build along the way.
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"Choose a major you love and then you'll never work a day in your life because that field probably isn't hiring" thanks
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*finds silverware drawer at friends house on first try* Nice nice
Best pick up line of the day - Hey, you gonna be leaving your drink unattended soon?
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At this point the angel on my shoulder just mutters “You’ll regret it,” then slowly sips whiskey.
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Seniors have to call upon the good lord bc they kno they beat pic.twitter.com/HxdaaGCK4F
EVERYONE PLEASE DONATE TODAY
people always tell me im hanging out with the wrong crowd they're always like "Elise get over here you dont even know those people"
Grandma said I was looking buff, so I guess you could say its been a damn good day
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If anyone left their freshman at the north game unattended please come back and pick them up pic.twitter.com/sxHAROEAMj
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girl: omg i love fall me: oh really? name 5 of their albums
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The only way to get a guy to like you is to retweet "touch my butt and buy me pizza" There's no other way
Bae: come over Me: I can't there's a torrential downpour Bae: no ones home Me: pic.twitter.com/HLF2ISA10t
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When you're taking a test and the kid in front of you is farting up a storm pic.twitter.com/zh6sGxy7eq
Me: *sits on couch looking like I normally do* Mom: this is why you don't have a boyfriend What.
11 year olds in my sisters group chat on her phone pic.twitter.com/OXHcCqKJvO
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