Please upgrade your browser to make full use of twiends.   chrome   firefox   ie   safari  
Grow your social media. Join free!
Twiends helps you to connect with new people on Twitter. Sign in for free!
Want To Grow Your Twitter?
Welcome to Twiends. We help you to grow your audience online. We are a vibrant community of Twitter users, and we are waiting to connect with you..!
Sign in for free! Not right now
Elise Schreiner
447 followers
Want to Grow Your
Social Media, Free?
Accidentally put balsamic vinaigrette dressing in my coffee instead of milk, it's one of those mornings
It's cool how Bruce Lee studied philosophy & poetry then applied it to something beautiful like punching people in the face.
Retweeted by Elise Schreiner
Homophobia is stupid. Who the hell is afraid of homes.
Retweeted by Elise Schreiner
"Your beliefs don't make you a better person, your behavior does."
Retweeted by Elise Schreiner
Sparknotes is too much to read at this point
Wife: You always take me to the same crappy Taco Bell. Me: I hear you loud and clear. *takes her to a slightly nicer Taco Bell*
Retweeted by Elise Schreiner
Is anyone really prepared for that AP Psych exam tomorrow? pic.twitter.com/L9NMxF2iEo
Retweeted by Elise Schreiner
"aliens arent real" me: ok buddy listen here and listen good......
Retweeted by Elise Schreiner
Mayweather: I've been playing pac man studying his every move Interviewer: you know pac man is just a nick name right? Mayweather:...what?
Retweeted by Elise Schreiner
You're a fucking asshole and you didn't deserve her.
Retweeted by Elise Schreiner
Surround yourself with positive people that don't try to bring you or your friends down:)
Retweeted by Elise Schreiner
I hope the Eagles draft Lebron James
I really hate how my teacher won't round my 57% up to an A
Retweeted by Elise Schreiner
Beauty comes in all shapes and sizes pic.twitter.com/WXCTJTvCep
last night i thought it would be funny to pick up a gun and point it at lilly and im now realizing how bad that could have been wow
Retweeted by Elise Schreiner
"It's probably not even loaded you pussy"
Retweeted by Elise Schreiner
[Husband walks in all a mess] I was in a crane accident. Wife: OMG, were you hurt? *spits out feathers* No, just a little bruised up.
Retweeted by Elise Schreiner
Attention: the rumors are 100% TRUE ! I am running for President of The United States Of America 2016 #FlockaForPresident2016
Retweeted by Elise Schreiner
Happy birthday @aaalyssanicole ! Here is a pic of U & me ft. the fridge pic.twitter.com/WhjEpUVxER
Interviewer: Your resume only has "Mad" under "Skills" Me: Yeah boyee Interviewer: *tears up* You're just what we need. Welcome to Subway.
Retweeted by Elise Schreiner
I heard Barack Obama is at smoothie king
Tell her fart jokes til she ain't sad no more
Retweeted by Elise Schreiner
The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese lol
Retweeted by Elise Schreiner
tryna get my beer gut big enough so I can eat chicken nuggets off of it
Retweeted by Elise Schreiner
HAPPY TAX DAY RACHEL! Oh and birthday pic.twitter.com/IgepRXlZb3
*password is too weak* *password starts working out* *password enters weightlifting competition*
Retweeted by Elise Schreiner
bro get over here. that anchorman reference you made a couple minutes ago? that was SICK. everyone at this party fucking loves you now.
Retweeted by Elise Schreiner
Fine line between selfishness and happiness
I have been waiting for this day my entire life pic.twitter.com/ebPsQKIxeI
Beyonce's last album has sold over 2 million digital copies. How many digital copies did the Beatles sell in the sixties? 0.
Retweeted by Elise Schreiner
Someone tell Karly I just bought her a matching shirt and that I'm wearing it to her wedding pic.twitter.com/N6hojHTGVd