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ΞSP
comedymovies 9,097 followers
definitely the best comeback ever... youtu.be/VN3zrFBXynw
if #Hollywood movies are to be believed... #NASA has been lying to us all this time about the number of close encounters we've had...
Stuck in traffic, wondering about the life of an idiot and his fast car...
i get why U2's Bono wears sun glasses all the time...but who's staring at CeeLo Green?
if my daily horoscope is to be believed, some horny star out there is spooning a virgin planet and this is causing me a terrible headache...
some demons were never meant to be shared with others...
ain't no sunshine, when she's gone....
war is all about people killing other people for ideas that are not even theirs...
Consider the alternative....
love conquers all, except toothache...
it was a period of reflections. it was a period of hope. it was a period of "just get me the fu*k out of here..." it feels good to be back.
I just got @Contactive. It identifies unknown callers and shows social network info as a call is coming in! → contactive.com/d/aptw
Ever had one of those days when you have trouble pegging someone's name? Well, I decided its best to give them a new one!
Starvation in #Sudan. Bombardment in #Gaza. Is this the future of our children?
What are you missing out in life, if you don't have a girlfriend. Source: Kelly Erickson pic.twitter.com/GsNqB714lv
Retweeted by ΞSP
Surely, considering #Gaza that must have been a breeze. “@UberFacts: Humans have caused 322 animal extinctions over the past 500 years.”
How much for the boyfriend? Mam, that's a body pillow. Whatever. How much for the body bag? Mam, that's the pillow case.
Retweeted by ΞSP
The difference between us and animals is the ability to think. Stop choosing sides. Just do something to stop this war! Humanity is losing!
No matter what side you choose, those screams of innocent children will always haunt you... #StopKillingChildrenInGaza
No matter which side you route for, war will never bring peace... Ever.
If you're not tweeting about your mundane lives, you are busy rooting for sides on the war in #Gaza. Like this is some football match. #sigh
Hmmm...never thought of it this way. pic.twitter.com/zcTqA7o399
A friend in need is a friend indeed. Mine apparently always happens to be sleeping... #sigh
Doomed if we do it, doomed if we don't. What are we to do?
i generally stay away from controversial topics like weather & politics, but considering, is the peace worth the blood of innocent children?
it's called "the mall" because you don't have to go to one store when you can go to "them all" #duhMoment
Many people with dark shades in the metro. Either there is a fashion faux pas in progress or a major blind epidemic no one told me about.
the sheer terror of being alone with my thoughts...
evil agenda: get spouse addicted to smoking. once dead prematurely, sue cigarette company. get billions. kill two birds with one stone!
Apparently, chivalry is dead in metro trains... Ⓜ
Thinking about stuff I shouldn't be thinking about...
i prefer my silence awkward...
None of the tees fit me and neither will the buttons fit the pants anymore. I think I've got a troll problem in my closet..
i really ought to stop saying, "It's ok" when someone apologizes to me...because 99% of the time, it's really not ok!
they say a dog is the most faithful animal..considering that the master has to wake up, walk him and pick his poo too - that mutt better be!
To be or not to be an idiot...if thats the question haunting you tonight, then you need help, my friend.
I'm told I need to start organizing my life...So trying out with Wunderlist. Help me get a month of Wunderlist free: bit.ly/1mgCZ3C
The worst words you can say are, "If I had only..."
a text message is an accident waiting to happen...
sometimes you just want to let go of everything and become a handsome billionaire...
nobody can guarantee that you will succeed. but nobody can guarantee that you will fail either...
Today is cruel. Tomorrow is crueler. And the day after tomorrow is beautiful.
“Free” is the most expensive word.
Go big, or go home. Otherwise, you’re wasting your youth.
First you switch your mobile on for security checks at the airport, only to switch them back off on the plane.. Make up your minds, people!
6 Times When You Should Have Said ‘No’..medium.com/comedy-corner/…
10 Tricks to Appear Smart During Meetings... medium.com/comedy-corner/…
that's 7 billion people...14 billion faces... #sigh
they say If at first you don't succeed, try, try, try again... well, here goes... *reloads gun*
Seeing you happy, makes me sad... 😔