Spiritual Leader: If you could have one thing in this world, What would it be?
me: a terrarium with a small stegosaurus in it
Responding to a hilarious joke by saying "very good" instead of laughing
Mum: Of course you'll pass your exams!
7pm: "Right, shall we start making a move?"
10pm: Drive away while everyone waves from the front door
when u in a group chat and someone from the chat msgs u from outside the chat. that shit be feeling mad serious, like why we whispering fam?
Man! I've finished the first season of attack on titan already! 😯
If you post a selfie every day, your hobby isn't photography. It's narcissism.
[driver on opposite side of the road puts head lights on]
moth driving: omg
moth wife: Harold no we have a baby
moth baby: FLOOR IT DAD
Passed my theory \O/ wooop ^_^ 🚗
That was one hell of a game m8 😂😂94E
*password is too weak*
*password starts working out*
*password enters weightlifting competition*
If Anne hath a will, Anne Hathaway.
Awesome day at comic con! \O/ @alsmiffy @djh3max @yogscast
I'll bring your bike back... someday!
Any cookie is bite sized if you try hard enough ^_^
Star Wars Lightsaber Chopsticks
Are you a wizard? Cause AzkaDAMN!!! #HarryPotterPickUpLines
We all know a twat named Emily
Before an exam in comparison with the end..
Sociology exam tomorrow I hope I don't drop too many Marx
tip: if you're planning on studying sociology ... don't
RT if you'd do it without question
Popping the kettle on and hearing a steady stream of 'yes please' coming from every room in the house.
DROPPED MY PHONE IN THE TOILET, MATE
when ur friend posts an ugly pic of u just cuz they look good in it vine.co/v/OdnOmBhXVqt
: I can name more Harry Potter characters than friends" @emily_ravenhall
this is you😂
When you send a tweet with a spelling mistake but someone RTs it before you can delete it
Wishing to be friends is quick work, but friendship is a slow ripening fruit. Aristotle
Getting an answer right on #universitychallenge
Madonna diving into your DM's
Why is there a pancake stuck to the kitchen ceiling? BLOODY MLLER!
L o l t h e c a t b i t m e 🙀
Oh piss off Bobby! It's literally who shot Mr Burns all over again LOL #EastEnders
When all of your friends are talking about what jobs they want to do
gonna leave me hanging like that
: Those insufferable cretins who push the 'stop' button on the bus when someone else has already pressed it." @emily_ravenhall
Life is happiest when you are a giraffe
Almost shared someone's mum's status whilst Facebook stalking wow okay 😶😂 ahaha 😱
Who nicknamed 1 pound to quid and why