"Being honest may not get you many friends but it'll always get you the right ones." #rememberinglennon
He cracks me up. 💘
Got out of bed and stumbled into the nightstand. Legs workout was clearly a great success last night. 💪
I can't stop eating Twizzlers. Someone call for help.
Chicago is no place to be a skeleton. #skinnypeopleproblems
People on Facebook "like" everything but grammar. #realtalk
I don't need anyone with a so-called degree "to" tell me I use quotes wrong. 😡
There's no wrong answer until you answer differently than me... 😂
Some people still don't understand that skinny jeans and fat genes don't go well together. No offense... 🙊
There have been a countless amount of times I've gotten comments/likes from people with similar usernames as certain celebrities and I died.
I believe the word I'm looking for is... #SWAG 😎
For your listening pleasure. 😊✌️ @teddysphotos #thepartingglass #edsheeran #sheerios #music
How bout I spell YOUR name wrong, Stahrbux? Hm? How bout I pronounce it wrong, too, huh? You like that? How's that feel, Stlerbecks?
Gas station bathroom selfies! I'm my own #WCW today. 💩
Gas station bathroom selfies. I am my own #WCW
My cat gives exactly ZERO sh*ts. #catstagram
They insisted on helping me give Miller fluids. #animalprotectiveleague #aplspringfield #adoptdontshop #catstagram
Mushy hates the balloon... (Don't mind the mess, in the middle of moving!) pic.twitter.com/IzdI00WHef
How can I be so thirsty when I drank so much last night!? 🙊#hungover
Today is my final day as an Animal Protective League employee. #heartbroken
True story! That place drives me nuts! Lol
Me: "My elbow hurts." WebMD: "Elbow cancer." -_-
So they say 71 percent of tweets go unread. But I bet you all are reading this one. Cause this one's got Velociraptors. And they're awesome.
Instead of going to Starbucks, I make my own coffee, yell my name out incorrectly, and then light a $5 bill on fire.
As we celebrate Awareness Month, please retweet this if you know anyone, or know anyone who knows anyone.
Can't wait to see #thehobbit just so I can hear #iseefire in the end credits. 😝 #edsheeran #sheerios #musicsaves @teddysphotos
Love wins every time. :-)
So my friend hahaharleyquinn drew this very lifelike #portrait
in a hot tub when we were in… instagram.com/p/hXQkwdh2Va/
You can't be anti-abortion AND pro-death penalty AND a unicorn.
"This ain't my first Romeo." - Slutty Juliet
Don't forget to look both ways before getting hit by a car. :-)
If there's 'Extra Virgin' olive oil, there has to be a 'Dirty Slut' variety as well, right?
You have been sentenced to life in a maximum security prison for taking bites out of a string cheese instead of having fun and peeling it.
Chances of me getting any work done tonight are about hahahahahahahaha%.
I may be leaving the staff but I promise to always help and support the APL mission. You are my family. I love you all! #adoptdontshop
A typical car ride with me... #UNI #EdSheeran #Sheerios #Harmony #MusicSaves #PlayingForChange #FCancer @teddysphotos
And now a word from my cat: 5448888888888888888888888uujjjhfffff
Can't get this #song out of my head. #hometownglory #adele #jamesarthur #xfactor #jarmy #love #musicsaves @jamesarthur23
Spending the day at work with all the homeless kitties and doggies. #HappyThanksgiving
Happy Thanksgiving, Aunt Merrie. 😊💕
Before going to bed tonight, don't forget to set your scales back 5 pounds. #HappyThanksgiving
Working in isolation with the sick and injured kitties who don't have homes. I'm giving them all each big meals today! #ilovemyjob
4 years later and I still get nervous butterflies when I see my boyfriend. The joy he brings me is unlike any other I've felt. #thankful
Can we all just stop pretending like alcohol tastes good? I do not jump for joy when handed a shot of Rumple Minze...
I really do hate the holidays. Terribly depressing and lonely. #bahumbug
Thank you for your support! ✌️
But of course! Now where are my McNuggets? Lol 😉
One more. Off to bed. Goodnight. ✌️ #uni #edsheeran #sheerios #musicsaves #playingforchange #fcancer @teddysphotos
For your entertainment. 😊 #KissMe #EdSheeran #Sheerios #MusicSaves #PlayingForChange #FCANCER @teddysphotos