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James Vallance
funnytweets 212,924 followers
#Evolution is a favorite mainstream, politically correct, socially palatable, extremely profitable, ego-driven, dogmatic big-money religion.
Dear Mum... thanks, for putting up with a ratty, ungrateful spoiled child like my sibling. from your favorite ;)
Science is my favorite mainstream, politically malleable, socially palatable, extremely profitable, ego-driven, dogmatic big-money religion.
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WATCH: Exploring Gomorrah, Masada and Mount Sodom…
Macro #Evolution is a fairy tale for grown ups
*arrives in hell* Hey what's the wifi password?
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Go to prison once for 17 years and all of a sudden you're not a good father.
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Girl, if it takes you more than 1hr to get ready, then you may not be as cute as you think.
meanwhile quietly in the background the Earth hurtles through space at 65000 kph.
How long are Winnie the Pooh and that other stripey bastard going to ignore the fact there's something seriously wrong with Eeyore
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lol what the fuck are all these books? "Keith, this is the library, man" oh.. *whispers* what the fuck are all these books?
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with extra mice "rice or mice" mice "we don- are u a snake" yes "we cant deliver to a snake" d'you know how long it took to dial this number
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It's not difficult to tell crocodiles and alligators apart. One will see you in a while whereas the other will see you later.
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If there was a prize for laziness, I would send someone to pick it up for me. Yawn.
I have been to Supermarket 4 times today to buy beer. I am concerned that I might becoming a Shopaholic.
Shocking NEW DNA Evidence Released Today Proves Nephilim--and Scientists...: via @YouTube
The Pagan Moon God --- الله Allah: via @YouTube
FASTEST ~ TT ~ LAP . EVER . 2014 ✔ Riding Like A God - Bruce Almighty ✔ ...: via @YouTube
If you dont drink alcohol, then how will your friends know that you love them at 2.30 am?
Best Image Quality - ON-BOARD TT ✔ Guy Martin V Michael Dunlop ✔ - ISLE ...: via @YouTube
#Science Major publisher retracts 43 scientific papers amid wider fake peer-review scandal
#Evolution Dozens Of Scientific Papers Withdrawn After Peer-Review Fraud Uncovered | IFLScience…
Opposites may attract, but one of your babies will be ugly.
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#Evolution We built this theory on Block & Troll
Hate to see you go, but I love to watch you leave.
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As a kid, I swallowed a lot of lead while siphoning gas for the lawnmower. - Me, when people ask what the fuck is wrong with me.
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Not now, kids. Daddy's arguing with people on the Internet
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Hey, we never talked in high school! Let's be Facebook friends so we can once again never talk! JUST LIKE OLD TIMES!
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I'm going to ask you for your opinion and do the opposite. -Women
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does anyone else live in constant fear that a Duck is watching them ? ~ asking for a friend
Dr. Seuss would have CRUSHED it on 8 Mile.
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When I get unfollowed I just figure that people have a hard time relating to attractive people with a witty sense of humor.
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Nephilim: TRUE STORY of Satan, Fallen Angels, Giants, Aliens, Hybrids, E...: via @YouTube
"Viva la revolucion" "Ha that's what Che said"
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#Evolution Why would Cave dwellers carve & paint pictures of Dinosaurs they had never seen or read about, all around the World? #SoftTissue