What do you call three racists at the bottom of the ocean?
A tragedy, you maniac. We're all God's children.
Report; Study that says first-borns are smarter than siblings. I showed my little bro the study, but he said he doesn't like word reading.
Hoodie AVIs are sooooooo 2011.
Retweet this with your bottom lip!
(99% of people can't do it)
Whatever Mom, IF THAT'S EVEN YOUR REAL NAME!!!
Follow me so I can spam your ass ;)
You can never make the same mistake twice because the second time you make it, it's not a mistake, it's a choice.
The most attractive people are the ones who don't know that they are
Love when someone follows you and you know from the first tweet you see of theirs that you will love them. Fucking awesome.
Sarcasm is a dominant gene in my family.
I'm tired and cranky. And you're fucking humming in the office.
No jury would convict me.
My son suggested I may need a twitter intervention. I have no idea what he's talking about. Or where he has been for the past three hours.
Shutting off your phone is the new walking out of the room.
People who do not face forward in an elevator freak me the fuck out.
Ever have to call someone and get annoyed when they actually answer?
What blows my mind about twitter
Caring about people you have never met
The good news is, I blocked the creepy guy. The bad news is, I'm tweeting this from inside his trunk.
One day, your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure it's worth watching.
Hate to see you go, but love to watch you walk funny.
Please don't judge me by my tweets, I'm not just a megalomaniac, sex obsessed, boob loving, foul mouthed asshole. Sometimes I'm a drunk too.
A ramification sounds like a lot more fun than it actually is.
Haha. I've never had any, and my 45th birthday was Thursday, so... Haha.
I might need to buy a shotgun, cause you know, daughters.
I know what it means to be alone, I sure do wish I was at home. I don't care what the neighbors say, I'm gonna love you each and every day.
If you 'fav'' tweets that you relate to as a way of filing them for reference, then take that section of Scripture further on your own.__✞
Sixteen, I fell in love with a girl as sweet as could be, Only took a couple of days 'til she was rid of me.
In the days of my youth, I was told what it means to be a man, Now I've reached that age, I've tried to do all those things the best I can.
RT Liz @drwife2
All desire will dry to dust. Likewise: Us
At night I pray that soon your face will fade away
I'm not giving up, I'm just having enough
: You won't know how someone feels unless you've walked in their shoes, but you can always try, y'know.
What annoys me is when some people try to butt in my conversation and act like they know everything.
: You're a story I will write a thousand times over.
: "I will never understand why people create drama" - People who create drama
: If you could predict the future you wouldn't be in this situation. You'd be surprised at what you don't know.
That was actually like the best breakfast ever.
I'm just gonna head of to the Rice Bowl in Newtown, Wellington, NZ " if anyone wants anything at all"..... DM me ;)
But you don't RT @JamesCoolie
: If you listen really close...you will hear it all.
My mind is unable to fathom even the least and tiniest of all the atoms. Nonetheless "Are you fine ?"
Hey ! You are the LUCKY 1,000,000 th Reader of this Tweet. Just RT and FAV and you will be Rich all the days of your life. ~ Internet Guru
If you listen really close...you will hear it all.
I've been released back out into the community. My therapist says as long as I keep up with my meds that " well, who knows"?...This time ok!
Shut up ! I'm trying to tweet here
Does he even update his status ?
There’s a woman with her hands trembling - haere mai And she sings with a mountain’s memory - haere mai