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James Vallance
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Sarah McLachlan and Surprise Guest Perform "Angel" wp.me/p4ViPz-2p via @wordpressdotcom
i hate it after an argument, when i think of much more clever shit that i should have said.
Don't think I'm taking down my tweets just because they suck today! *whispers* Probably tonight when nobody is looking
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It's raining, let's drink It's freezing, let's drink It's snowing, let's drink It's SUNNY Let's drink outside -the British
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Single? Alone? 100% better than being with the wrong person
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fucking pedestrians - me driving fucking cars - me walking
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Panic attacks count as cardio right?
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*pirouettes into your life *breaks your favorite lamp
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How was I to know you were tying your shoelaces and not proposing?
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If he retweets me and his profile picture shows a smile. Is it too early to buy the wedding dress?
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Don't send me a dick pic. Send me a picture of you paying your bills.
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No means no! Unless she's dyslexic; then it's on!
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The hardest lessons are the ones where you didn't know you were the student
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Friendship is so weird. You just pick a human and you're like "yep, I like this one". Then you just do stuff with them.
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I love sleep because its like a time machine to breakfast.
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We covered our faces in Nutella and vegemite just so you would all have something to retweet for #vote5sos pic.twitter.com/HVEfffhe65
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The tooth fairy but for broken hearts and she leaves a cat under your pillow.
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My wife:“That’s not the shirt I sent her to daycare in.” Me:“But it’s the right kid?” Wife: “Yes.” Me: “Awesome. I’m going to play Xbox”
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"Do what you love." ~Rich people
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A month without gym? Why don't I just start buying size 20 clothes right now.
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My favorite part of boxing is when they stop to hug each other
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"Dude! What the fuck? No kissing!" - all of my MMA opponents
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it's business time how do i know it's business time it's thursday and thursday is business time
facebook has become like ancient Egypt, people write on walls, and worship cats.
what does it profit Islam, if she should gain Israel, or even the whole of the world, yet forfeit her own soul?
they say that i am the black sheep in the family, but i suspect that some of the white sheep are not so white as they appear. baaaa haha
your eyes tell me everything I'll ever need to know
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writing ...because some stories are not yours to keep.
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I typed hahahahahaha and it got autocorrected to hahaha and I was like, "yeah, you're probably right"
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