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The great and powerful baby has spoken. All hail the baby! #parenthood
R.I.P., Tom Magliozzi
News Flash: cats fed on a schedule don't understand #DaylightSavingTime
Changing diapers: it's all about waiting for the other poo to drop. #parenthood
My new reply to: "Are you going natural?" Me: "Yes! But, we're still looking for a good placenta got one?" #PregnancyProblems
Ah, the majestic and noble salted-caramel doughnut. Thank you, Beiler's.
For that special microbiologist working on a cure or vaccination for Ebola…
Virtual shout-out to the runners! Go runners! #ChicagoMarathon
Smiley faces are a non-offensive, digestible form of communicating in text, diffusing any potential for comment-section-warfare. :)
Many ask: "Are you going natural?" Me: "Sure! We plan on hiking through the woods to give birth in the river." #PregnancyProblems #FavReply
Damn, dropped a work tool on the floor again... #PregnancyProblems
♪ ♬ It's getting cold in here, so put on all your cloths. I am getting so cold, I wanna put more cloths on! ♪ ♬
#CVS expects $2 billion loss for removing tobacco products "to promote public health"... plans to make it up in Halloween candy sales.
Ebola in Texas, Ebola in DC, and now, Ebola on your pillow!…
With good healthcare/sanitation/education, Ebola in the US isn't that contagious. #1stWorldParanoia #sketch_dailies
Deciding on which federal offence to commit so I can get out of jury duty permanently. #ExConsHaveAllTheFun
Got an e-mail titled "Your Mom". It's from my dad who decided to send over a bunch of black & white photos of my mom as a baby.
Don't settle for just sounding like an ass on your phone, you can now look like one too! #iPhone6plus #sketch_dailies
Take stress off leg joints & be seen in crosswalks Salvador Dali-style with the Pregnancy Walker! #PregnancyProblems
Inventing the first wheeled walking stick for the extended belly of pregnant people. It will come with a safety flagpole for crosswalks.
He bites new mail, jumps on strangers, licks my face, plays fetch, & today, I just caught him drinking from the toilet. #MyCatIsReallyADog
Need to sketch something out today before I go completely sane.
While getting the #FluShot wasn't the most magical of experiences, at least I'll be protecting the babies, elderly & immune-compromised.
Still sore with a scraped knee and hand from the tumble I took the other day. No broken bones, but I think I may have sprained my pride.
Happy Constitution Day! We keep our copy next to a bottle of gin in the liquor cabinet.
The discomfort could always be worse - I could have Ebola. #PregnancyProblems
To the single people: be sure your standards for a future significant other include treating you well (and be sure to reciprocate).
Cyber-stalking my favorite food truck: @foolishwaffles ...We'll be looking for you at the Chestnut Hill Market! :)
Feeling #depressed. Just thought I'd share that with 21 thousand of you (though some of you are probably robots and won't understand).
How bored and desperate does one need be to watch a full-length movie on a cell phone?
#CommonCore: a new and exciting way to do math that inspires rage in people over the age of 30 who failed to pass basic algebra.
RIP Joan Rivers. You may have only been on this planet for three-hundred years, but your legend will live forever.
Views found here are my own... except for when also viewed by someone else. Then they’re shared.
Always forgetting about some of these until someone requests a license to use my work:…
No collection of physical discomfort is complete without a harrowing case of poison ivy. #PregnancyProblems
Wearing sunglasses is a lot like being on Facebook... nobody knows you're watching them unless you comment or give em' a thumbs-up
Aww, man, my right mouse button stopped working - thus transforming my IBM into a Macintosh.
If you follow home improvement trends, this tie will match the color of your walls:…#Microbiology #SingleCelled
Thank you, #runners who give me a smile and thumbs-up when I'm out there running. You guys rock! #PregnantRunner
I'm convinced that there are unicorns dancing on the ceiling at night - I mean, what else would the cat be staring at?
ALS is a horrible disease, and it's good to see the #IceBucketChallenge go viral. But, wouldn't it be more effective in winter?
Cowardly is as cowardly does., my name is trending. Just don't ask me to do your dishes - I don't do dishes. But, I can build a table from an old door!
When people think I'm forgetting to add quotation marks & citation to things I say, it makes me feel smarter than I likely am. #LifeIsGood
A true sociopath will often never win, but will use hypocritical & abusive methods to confuse their targets. #TakeCharge #StandYourGround
Since when did Nike Frees become "minimalist" shoes? They're not even zero drop! #RunnersWorld #MinimalistProblems
It is difficult to be kind to people whose misery runs so deep, all they know how to do is hurt others. #HatredBreedsHatred #CheckYourself
Some people are never happy unless they're making you miserable. Remember: you are not responsible for their happiness. #PositiveThoughts