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Ellen
I'm convinced that there are unicorns dancing on the ceiling at night - I mean, what else would the cat be staring at?
ALS is a horrible disease, and it's good to see the #IceBucketChallenge go viral. But, wouldn't it be more effective in winter?
Cowardly is as cowardly does.
#AskMarcus...cool, my name is trending. Just don't ask me to do your dishes - I don't do dishes. But, I can build a table from an old door!
When people think I'm forgetting to add quotation marks & citation to things I say, it makes me feel smarter than I likely am. #LifeIsGood
A true sociopath will often never win, but will use hypocritical & abusive methods to confuse their targets. #TakeCharge #StandYourGround
Since when did Nike Frees become "minimalist" shoes? They're not even zero drop! #RunnersWorld #MinimalistProblems
It is difficult to be kind to people whose misery runs so deep, all they know how to do is hurt others. #HatredBreedsHatred #CheckYourself
Some people are never happy unless they're making you miserable. Remember: you are not responsible for their happiness. #PositiveThoughts
When I was taking notes in #microbiology class, I would never have thought my sketches would make people so happy! zazzle.com/microbiology_i…
When educated people fail to read the book on positive social interaction, they can become trolls of the internet. #LifeIsTooShort
Browbeating people over language that is "politically correct" makes you no different than those who attempt to silence your dissidence.
Finally got to go to #SIGGRAPH! ...and was probably the only pregnant person there. #SIGGRAPH2014 pic.twitter.com/ZFeKvq0tLj
Thinking about giving a book on how to overcome passive aggressiveness to the passive aggressive in-laws. #ThisCouldWork
One thing is for sure - #WorldCatDay would never exist without the internet.
For those not on DA. Illustrated movie poster (movie in pre-production). #happymonday #NSFW pic.twitter.com/M31TQzSdXm
Illustrated the poster for this horror-comedy in production: ellemrcs.deviantart.com/art/Wait-Wait-… #HappyMonday #NSFW
Refrained from comment on bananas in an FB pic of local farmer's market foods. Banana farms in the Northern States? #FeelingAccomplished
The food pyramid was invented for the benefit of Big Agro - that pisses me off. Other things that piss me off are hangnails & mosquitoes.
Finding. The. Right. Punctuation. Seems. Extra. Difficult. This. Morning. #HappyFriday
“Positivity” shouldn't be a real word. In my rough guestimation, future learnings of said word will leave a trail of unfortitudeness.
If invited to a baby shower, don't publicly post you decline because of a housewarming party & invite the host to that #FacebookIgnorant
'God is great', sure, but coffee is so much better! #InfidelQuotes #Nontheist #Atheist #Agnostic #Apostate
Pro Tip: never go to an education conference while pregnant unless you wish to hear everyone's birthing story. #TMI #WTF #PregnancyProblems
Can we talk about something other than birthing experiences? No, I will not tell you what I plan to do with my nipples. #PregnancyProblems
No, I do not want to hear all about how your doctors set a mirror so you can watch yourself give birth. #TMI #PregnancyProblems
The Trump tower looks a lot smaller in person. #ThatsWhatSheSaid
"Legalities before ethics" must be written in fine print at the bottom of the hippocratic oath.
Driver with "Proud Mother of Twins" bumper sticker: If spontaneous biological events are your only assets, flaunt em' when you can, I guess.
If by "strange" you mean "creative" then, yes, I'm very strange.
#VerizonFios, stop soliciting at our front door - we're already customers! Do you not want our business? #HorriblyInterrupted #BadBusiness
My husband was featured on NPR today! Can $2 cigarette tax keep Philly young people from picking up a habit? newsworks.org/index.php/loca…
Finished with the 6 paintings I'll need for tomorrow... ellemrcs.deviantart.com/art/Abstract-T…
Dear giant buzzing bumble bee, no, you have not hit the jackpot - it's just me wearing a bright yellow shirt.
Got a forgotten password email I didn't request. Deducing that my Twitter account must be just that desirable. #NiceTryAsshole
Started my morning run in flip flops. #MinimalistBrain #PregnancyBrain #AutoPilot
Coffee without maple syrup is just brown water.
"Laughing Bird", laughing in the face of Wednesday deadlines: ellemrcs.deviantart.com/art/Laughing-B… Happy Hump Day
My timing is uncanny... AND blasphemous!
Never considered how good it feels to set someone straight, then not return to the comment section for a rebuttal. #HatersGonnaHate
Run. Walk. Vomit. My new shirt design for the ultramarathoner zazzle.com/run_walk_vomit… #ultramarathon #ultra #runner #Runners
Pre-ordered Surface Pro 3 & have a question: should I have bought it today from a store instead? Because I'm still waiting. #impatient #SP3
I might be the only person alive with a graduate-level reading ability who hates to read. #Unique #JustBeYou #FaceBookDown
Customer: "If you don't lower prices, I'm not going to buy." Me: "I'd die a martyr's death before giving in to your terrorist threats!"
James Brown, known for his catchy tunes such as "Living In America", and his famous last words: "I don't feel so good."
Cat that died about 7 years ago came to me in a dream last night. She wanted to go home, so I put her in a suitcase & took her on a plane.