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I ordered a small cheeseburger and both the buns were pizzas.
Whenever I try to pull off midi length I just end up looking so Jewish.
All my jail babies know about eating with spoons!
My first official girlfriend is @martamanhattan.
RT for a chance to win a seat at @USHGNYC & @iceculinary's 10-week wine class with master sommelier @vinjohnragan.
Retweeted by moffman
No rice for fried rice. Fried #quinoa will do. For now. 2 eggs.
Hey, @MileyCyrus! You gonna turn that #pig into #pork? #oink
CRAVINGS @ Morgenstern's Finest Ice Cream
Have you had your #pizza today?
"Why do blood stains always look like crustaceans to you?" "I like seafood." #RED #LOBSTER
35 blks to @cannibalnyc for $25 @StillwaterAles Gose Gone Wild < 5 min skip to @ProletariatNY where it's 6 bucks cheaper! And service is A+!
"EL RAPE" Authentic Food--ALMOST
Just read a vegan call himself a "cultural pioneer" on @Yelp. And that's why "yelp" is still a 4-letter word.
#overheard "My grandfather fought in WWII & was recently buried...just like I'm going to bury this ping pong ball in that solo cup of beer."
Post roast break down. Pre pig out. Skin, bottom R. Belly, down in front. Liver & kidneys to the R.
GENIUS:… @bonappetempt dome-shaped-pancake sounds kinda sexii
Chinese $$ feeds U.S. homeless. That's a communist of a different color:…
Why hasn't anyone told me I've been sinning by not engaging in raw #asparagus?! #gamechanger
#gif of the week is definitely infinitely eye-rolling @MicheleRSimon #yougogirl #MOFADRoundtable
#TheFaultInOurStars that clap after that kiss in that house #SMH
Put "Jane Says" on repeat in the dining room at the beginning of service tonight. Played for half hour. No one noticed.
Disco Dairy: spread the party
I'm done as a burnt burger!
Haven't actually consumed a #donut today. Or anything with a hole in it for that matter. *weep* #NationalDoughnutDay
"Consumed 15 doughnuts today, Diane. All jelly." #NationalDoughnutDay #TwinPeaks
"How was it in the kitchen tonight?" "Drink this beer out of this quart container." "Yella Pils?" "Do it. Now."
body of h2o next to another body of h2o sweet
I say "Gruet" with the "t" at the end cuz it's #madeinAmerica, beeooottttcch.
"You're so oblivious." "Babe, you need to work on your pronunciation of the word 'sexiiiiiii'." @theporkranger
Graduated from the college the same day I finished a 5 lb bag of #gummybears that I bought last week. #accomplishments @EconomyCandy
Here's to always rolling ten pies deep, slinging lbs of dough, and knowing who to share my slices with
Your bread is frozen and your yeast is dead yet you talk about rising. Wake up.
Retweeted by moffman