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Dj Dylan n ur girl @dylanreilly_
we all know a fuck boy named dylan
Last night was horrible on my skin
It amazes me how southerners don't know what a parmo is
Short back and super noodles
: Really need to see @ArianaGrande
live🙋” you can officially tick that off
you videoed an underage intoxicated girl whilst trying to get her to suck your dick. that's a crime, you pervert twitter.com/carterreynolds…
Me trying to cook
remember that time chuck gave sarah walker an amazing story and 5 seasons of character development and took it all away in the last episode
I was not mentally prepared for the last episode of Chuck😭 I don't think I'll ever accept its over. & now I need a new Netflix series
But what if you cross your legs? @ASOS
"I LOVE BOOZE
BOOZE LOVES ME
HOLY SHIT I HAVE TO PEE
I’M SO SMASHED I’M FALLING ON THE FLOOR
don't worry about me boo, worry about your eyebrows💁🏻
How can anyone have the audacity to still support that little fucker after everything
You're an absolute disgrace to the human race twitter.com/carterreynolds…
I actually hate everyone it's so funny
PLL Literally always keep you on edge😧
ma'am calm down, I'm doing everything I can
'I can't imagine not working with you there would be no drama'
Someone just looked me up and down judging me, sorry you're wearing double denim? It should be me judging you
It's s'cute when bus drivers wave to each other when their bus routes happen to pass by each other
Can't hack the taste of normal coconut oil anymore 2 more weeks till my next cocowhite 😖
Kinda mad how girls go gym and get their bodies in such good shape ready for magaluf to get jizzed on by a lad from Leeds
Reckon the jenners just sit there pulling publicity stunts out of a hat? Sex tape for you Kim. ahh unlucky Bruce sex change for you chief
A poem for the ages: Our love will never become cold and hollow, Unless, one day, you refuse to swallow
omg yes 😂2
Praise ze lord I have tomorrow off
Shoutout to jasmine for fucking spraying deodorant right on my face into my mouth because the bus smelt 👌🏽 real mvp
"I smoke cigarettes and go to backyard shows, Tumblr is life. I'm so antisocial ugh American Apparel is life"
Busteddddd, filthy thing😂😂g4k
Don't understand why everyone's shitting themselves over all this lightening it's bloody beautiful
When my manager calls me on my day off asking me to come into work and I'm like...
: When a customer tries coming into the store 2 minutes before closing time ” me yesterday
: When a customer is testing your patience and you gotta keep your cool ” @jasminelishman
omg it's toast Norma
it hath been a lengthy day in your absence, my friend, alas I shalt tell you all about it whence I see you anon.
Greetings there, Delilah. How art thou enjoying thyself down in the city of New York?
I doth not, fornicate with, YOOOUUUUU.
go shawty, for it is your day of birth, we shalt banquet as if it were your birthday.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY WIFE @ArianaGrande
💗 22!! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH. KEEP SPREADING THE LIGHT EVERYWHERE YOU GO YOU WONDERFUL HUMAN. THE KIDS MISS U
I've only been awake an hour and the day had already been bad I don't think it can get worse
Drinking game: take a shot for every tweet you see about Ruby Rose; Two shots if it's a straight girl claiming she's turned gay
My dads captions on these pictures man😂m
Why does Twitter keep telling me I have a notification when I don't?
Why do people feel the need to hotbox the bus with vape???