Just because I'm selling my pool table, doesn't mean I can't hit on milfs
Donald Trump wouldn't even be the Top Trump in Trump Top Trumps
I feel like I've reached the age where porn butters no parsnips
NEW VIDEO - did a spontaneous video with @DylanJKershaw
that turned into the FAKE SIBLING TAG youtu.be/VuuXvY5dF1s?a
There's nothing like listening to a bit of @passengermusic
whilst your head is against the cold ass window on the bus staring at the rain.
How is Trump doing so well when he's literally in court on child rape charges on December 16th?!
I've waited a whole year
OH MY GOD YES MAKE THIS GO VIRAL NOW
I'm so happy to be leaving England in two weeks. So much negativity and people being dicks at this time of the year here.
Yes, I use curlers. Get over it - this isn't the real problem here.
That moment where you think you left your curlers on when you get to work.
Fuck the UK education board for yet again limiting creativity and expecting elephants to climb fucking trees.
VERY very excited to show you the content I've been making these past few months. Definitely a step up for my career. 🎤😂
I feel so proud it's like ur my son
Women don't choose to have periods, do the smart thing - sign the shit out of this. petition.parliament.uk/petitions/1683…
Relax. It's not Hitler. It's Stalin.
Would anyone be up for a regular booty call subscription?
This locker room I keep hearing about....is it in a high security prison?
One of my friends says I dress like a 12 and 60 year old. Accurate.
My American landlord actually looks sounds like Robert De Niro...i don't know mate, do you live in New Jersey?
Anyone wanna have a girly sleepover where we binge watch High School Musical, curl each other's hair, pillow fights and bitch about girls?
Me ha gustado un vídeo de @YouTube
- Hello, I'm Dating).
Back when I started recording an EP but bottled it. Feat @DylanJKershaw
and his thumb. instagram.com/p/BLQfa_gjF_k/
Well now, you have been naughty...lol
NEW VIDEO! If you want to experience the ultimate cringing experience then you'll want to watch this. fb.me/U0l7Ibjl
HERE IT IS. The new video I've been waiting to release! youtu.be/tcRHESPmgFY?a
Clown seen in the uk do not approach
is BACK! Well done guys, just don't fuck it up like last season and we're good 👍
I really want to date a Hollie for some reason. If you know a girl with the appropriate qualifications, please be in touch.
REALLY happy with the video I'm putting out Thursday. I'm warning you though...it's a bit sexual.
I've seen so many people in the past 48 hours that I just want to dive into a hole and escape humanity for a bit.
Today I'm filming one of the most important things in my life and I'm still 1/4 high and 1/2 a sleep. Brilliant.
Please can all of my previous sexual partners contact me urgently
My freshers is going so well, burnt my room down last night 😅z
I've never known if my neighbour is called Simon or Steven and today my brain had a meltdown & I called him:
I said 'Hello Semen'
make 👏 some 👏 fucking 👏 shit 👏 that 👏 you're 👏 truly 👏 proud 👏 of
Play me a @passengermusic
song and I turn extremely menopausal. Mike has this weird captivating power with his songwriting skills 👍
I imagine "the afterlife" will be a lot like that 14 billion years of "before life"
I'm glad to be of help, but question: when did I 'give' you deodrant? Do you mean deodrant I left & you haven't given back? 😂
Confession: I've been wearing the women's deodorant that @GracieVWard
gave me AND it smells SO good. I don't even care what you think.
METROPOLITAN POLICE, SORT YOUR SHIT OUT. So, I phoned the number of the thief who stole my camera and guess... fb.me/8420uuIVp
I've probably had the worst week in my life.
First off, I had the shoot on the feature film I'm acting in where... fb.me/1l3fyfyUx
It's a DYLAN Thing! You wouldn't understand! cards.twitter.com/cards/18ce54ca…
I had a dream I was Jack Whitehall in Fresh Meat and was a landlord for a bunch of uni students at 24. Maybe this is gonna be my life.
I want people to call me Goddess Marina
Why do foreign nurses always call me "Dye-lan?" I'm not offended or anything but like how do they come up with it, it doesn't exist XD
I don't drink like everybody else, I do it to forget things about myself 🍻