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Akshay Chawdhry
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Well the good news for United, Liverpool, Arsenal and Spurs fans is that they can attend group therapy sessions and save money.
When you're going into a test hoping that the curve is generous pretty much means that you're fucked.
I hope a certain place in hell is reserved for those professors who make insanely hard question papers. They deserve it.
The twitter app is really disappointing. I don't get notifications ever. I have to manually refresh my mentions to see. Really sad.
So Fabregas left Arsenal joined Barca came back to the Premier League and is gonna win the title before Arsenal?
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Ibrahimovic is the type of nigga who'd go to a Job interview & ask them why they think they deserve to have him work for them
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The blue ticks look so weird with WhatsApp's green. Must have been Zuckerberg's idea to put in the blue. Color-blind dick.
I don't do no-shave november because I'm afraid I'll get patted down by the police everywhere I go.
Watching sports all day. If you need anything ask Jesus.
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We've just spoken to the young girl who was hit by @YayaToure shot - she's fine & will enjoy these shirts! #QPRvMNC
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I'm feeling shooting pains in my left arm and my head is woozy. Correct me if I'm wrong, but those are the symptoms of a heart attack.
Get in Liverpool 1-2 Chelsea Great team performance! 7 points clear of Southampton 9 points clear of Man city UNBEATEN TOP OF THE LEAGUE
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The whole team go to clap the Chelsea fans who are singing 'We're top of the league' loud and clear. #CFCLive
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YEEEAAAHHHH!!!!! Costa you beautiful man #CFC
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Amazing work by Azpi. So happy he's back from suspension.
Narendra Modi: "Make in India is not a mere slogan or an invitation, it is our responsibility" #MakeInIndia
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L. K. Advani- Any chances in government still? Modi: NEW PHONE WHO DIS?
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One week of no shave November for me yields the same result as an entire month for my friends. Ahh white people.
Day 5 of no shave November. Beard is beginning to itch.
I wish I could go back home for a week and eat my way into a food coma.
Debts are like that bitch you fucked over one time, coming back to bite you in the ass.
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First women in space: "Houston, we have a problem." What? "Never mind." What's the problem? "Nothing." Please tell us. "I'm fine."
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Congratulations to the guy at @StarSportsIndia who decided that more people might watch Mumbai vs Kerala in HD than the Manchester Derby.
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CLASS: Didier Drogba spends 30 minutes after the final whistle taking pictures with Shrewsbury Town fans.
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Mourinho and three #CFC players have been shortlisted for FIFA awards...
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To be honest, a draw is fair.
Another late 1-1 for Chelsea against a Manchester Club
DROGBA SCORES!! Talk about throwback!
Till now a draw is fair. No side has done anything spectacular. Chances have been at a premium. Let's see what happens in the second half.
I knew United would be difficult. Fantastic work from Courtois. Clearly missing Costa
Need to cancel out Di Maria somehow. He's fucking amazing.
Weird seeing Mata in red.
Lol. Fabregas and Van Persie just hugged each other. A moment to acknowledge that they've finally won trophies.
Van Gaal clearly emotional whilst talking about Mourinho. This is going to be an interesting game.
Finally ALL the United fans on my TL will be talking about the same game as me.
Liverpool turned down Samuel Eto'o on a free transfer to sign Rickie Lambert for £4M.
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