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Heather B. Armstrong
Day two of my own sick camp and Coco makes this face at me every time I cough. Like, do not even think about dying on my watch, SHEEP.
I've been sick as a dog today so I let the kids roam, and Marlo ended up in this outfit. It's been 80 degrees all day, but hey squad, furry boots are the shit.
"My biggest dream in the whole wide world is to own millions and millions of cats and dogs. It's going to happen." Oh, I have no doubt.
My girls, also known as The World's Pickiest Eaters, have both been taking a probiotic tablet for the last few weeks, and whoa. A Keanu Reeves whoa. Marlo declared that they taste like candy, and if I don't hide them from her she will go through an entire box as fast as if they were Skittles. But th
I was here for the first time last night, and I let it happen.
Internet, thank you for your thorough and professional and anonymous diagnosis.
Angles. I really like angles.
"I can hear an alarm, must be morning..." #latergram
Hey @juliekutner, let it happen.
Can't really capture the way light dances on water in a photo, but one can try.
72 degrees, sunny, October, New York City: life is good.
I know this landing well. Hola, NYC.
View from the office. SLC ✈️ NYC. Thanks, @chroniclesofshe for holding down the fort.
Today's ensemble includes new boots that actually fit her feet and a princess jacket worn backwards. Oh, and cat ears. There's that.
This gorgeous block of clouds has been sitting right on top of the hill you can't see because of that building, much to the chagrin of my child who is not at all enthused by the idea of a thunderstorm. Like, not one bit. We are safely over here not watching any footage of the hurricane but sending g
I always match my tank top to the neon sign when Drunk Mormon History is being filmed. Good luck, @ivonna.tinkle! You're gonna kill it. Here for "moral" support.
I did not inherit my twisted sense of humor from nowhere.
Hairgramming just in time for picture day next week. Can you believe the natural color on this sixth grader's head? Thanks, @emgolie_hair.
Do I hang out with grups? Yup. 39-yr-old father of twins playing a keytar because he still feels it. Our generation can be so beautifully and unintentionally flagrant about how we are supposed to act our age.
Hey @leah7peah look what I found right outside my house when leaving to take Coco for a walk. Hm...
Obama wanted news organizations to put gun deaths and terror deaths side-by-side. We did.…
Retweeted by Heather B. Armstrong
This was entirely Marlo's idea, but the surprise presence of @poppin_pillz_in_the_city certainly does not help calm the water dog in her one bit.
Dinner at Whole Fruits with my child who apparently turned 19 years old overnight, how the hell did this happen. (Posture, pose, choosing to sit on a pumpkin, ALL HER DOING)
Thank god I did not throw out certain boxes in storage without taking a cursory glance inside. Because WE GOT NOTHING TO BE GUILTY OF, OUR LOVE. I don't have the proper equipment to play this original vinyl, so @ivonna.tinkle I'm headed into @e3modern this weekend armed and ready, k?
Forget about your house of cards.

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