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Dom
I know it's a bit sad to drink on your own, but after today...I feel like I need it 🍺
Always have food on my mind πŸ˜”πŸ°πŸ«πŸͺπŸ©πŸŸπŸ—πŸ”
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I judge people on the colour of their teeth not their skin
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Maureen is more worried about diet coke causing cancer rather than the fact i'm drinking on my own on a school night #PartyForOne #Chillin
I'm one of those people who try to make things better but end up making it worse.... 😞
Amaretto πŸ‘ŒπŸ‘Œ
That should have said "I can feel it when I get out...."😝
I need to stop drinking in the hot tub....I can feel it when you get out πŸ™ˆπŸ™ˆ
Got to put up with my dad rockin away to the eurovision....Kill me now...
The plot thickens.... πŸ™ˆπŸ™‰πŸ™Š
That toaster vine cracks me up every time I watch it.... πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ™ˆ
Bothers me a bit that Ronaldo's young son is already ten times cooler than I will ever be. pic.twitter.com/YV6Hu7uudx
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And it was free.... Nom Nom Nom
Hot chocolate fudge cake with cream... πŸ‘Œ
If someone blocked my number... I wouldn't think it's ok to email them and use being drunk as an excuse.
I think I've fucked up... Argh...
I actually think I'm a nice guy though.... 😳
Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned
Wow... That was awkward 😐
Had to come to the shop to use the internet...πŸ˜’
Think I've just given myself a shiner... πŸ˜’#ouchh
I like the idea of these online dating websites....but can see me being catfished......24yo πŸ‘Έ who turns out to be 55yo "Dale" πŸ‘΄ ... πŸ˜’ meh!!
Love it when bad people get their comeuppance... #KarmaIsABitch
If I had a pound for every customer who called me "Lee"....I'd be a very rich man....
How is pet insurance more expensive than my car insurance!? 😏
Love being quizzed about my life plans (or lack off) by relatives! πŸ‘ πŸ˜’
I just served a girl who looked like Taylor swift... What a shame she was married!! 😏
I don't understand why people cling on to their ex's after so long... 😐
Wish there was somewhere a little more exciting I could go walking with Bruce, I'm getting bored of the same places! 😏
You could be a sweet dream or a beautiful nightmare...
"I can read a map!!!.... I just don't know which way to hold it up!".... #WomenLogic
Game of Thrones is just so good!!! I'm glad Joffrey is dead!! #TeamTyrion
People who work at McDonalds act like the sauces come out of their wages jus throw 5 in the bag and behave.
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Chatty man πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
I can't stand screaming kids... Argh!! πŸ™‰
Sat in mcds on my own...with just a cup of tea... What have I become!!
Love being stood next to a fat fryer on a sunny day! 😏
The average British conversation. "Hi, are you ok?" "Yeah, are you?" "Yeah, not bad thanks"
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Taylor Swift at the ACMs 😍 πŸ‘Œ That's what I'm talkin bout!
Check that retweet... Hahaha... Women and money... πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ ✌️