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Mr. Unguarded
Tomorrow night at this time, I will be Joe Dirt
Please ladies – stop having litters!
There is too much seriousness in the world already – if my posts cause issues but bring laughter to some I can accept that. Thanks!
Yet another reminder to all – I say what I say to get a rise out of people and make some laugh. If it's taken seriously that's ridiculous.
My pet peeve is people simply disappearing – which is ironic because that's something I am great at
No I am not going to watch the game tonight – the NFL is so fucking boring
Found out it's illegal in my state to marry a horse. Wonder how Thunderbolt's going to take it...
Get up early to go to a meeting, and it's a week from today - that just fucking figures.
I just woke up from a dream where I got married and filed for divorce on the same day
I don't know why Apple rejected all my Emoji submissions. Who wouldn't use the taking a dump on someone Emoji
Holy shit women are bat shit crazy- marriage is no longer something that you should seek but avoid like the plague – feminism fucked em all
If I buy someone a wedding present and they are separated within a month shouldn't I get it back?
Someone just told me that I have a nice wife – didn't even realize I had one
Look at all the Yankees fans in the stands pretending to be Mets fans
Week in and week out I watch the SEC and all I see is average teams with no defense
That Michigan ending is one of the funniest things I have ever seen LOL
And this was the semi final lol
And you gotta love dive bar karaoke – this one me 100 bucks last night
Days that look nice outside through the window but are cold as shit when you walk out there suck balls
There are lots of fat women but very few BBWs... Learn the difference and stop approaching me!
The world just seems so much better when you wake up the day after the Cubs won a series
I guess what I am saying is...If you only vote for one political party, and want to change things, then don't vote because u are the problem
If people simply removed the damn labels attached to candidates it would force them to learn about their actual views and vote intelligently
None of this shit at any of the debates matters, Republican or Democrat, without support from both sides. Two-party system is shit.
I'm just sick of labels people put on everything. Like Hillary being proud of her enemy Republicans – you need them to work with you retard
People rip on socialism yet agree with paid leave, provided healthcare and education, fixing wealth inequality- guess what that's a part of?
Here's what I was talking about with Steve Bartman – anyone else see it?
If it wasn't the Cubs, this team would automatically become the favorite to win the title
Last time I saw the Cubs win a series I was living with a crazy bitch that I almost married – finally a replacement to that memory!
Cubs beat Cardinals 6-4, moving on to the NLCS. It is their 1st postseason series clinched at home in team history.
Retweeted by Mr. Unguarded
*Harry Carey voice* CUBS WIN!
Did anyone else just notice Steve Bartman on the camera?! #CubsVsCards
Never would have expected this roster this year to hold the record for most home runs in a single postseason game – GO CUBS!!
If Bradley wouldn't have played terribly the outcome would've been different – well maybe ha
Seriously though, even with all my jokes, Mexico played a good game congrats
Imagine if our best athletes played soccer.... US 10 Mex 0
Well I guess Mexico has earned the right to go get killed in the confederations cup
Wood haha... So much for everyone giving Klinsmann so much shit....
Mexico looks so much more fit than we do – shows who wants it more
Need to press US...
Only Mexican celebrations involve throwing bags of urine on yourselves
Go USA!! Shut up these Mexican fans....
I'm sorry but Nebraska is absolutely hilarious
Is a Manchester United fan... YOU GONE... And I'm not paying for dinner either (dealbreaker)
@djfisher34 worry about them 50 shades of grey hoes, they got that many shades of eyeliner on.. the notebook bitches will destroy themselves
Retweeted by Mr. Unguarded
I swear the next woman that tells me her favorite movie is 'The Notebook' is going to get cunt punted
Ugly ass bald dudes with gorgeous women – the power of money.... Smh

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