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Darren Fisher

Bro you look normal now, stay away from that shit…
Up and at it again. Enjoy!
Everyone have a good day! 👍🏼
Just overheard a couple people on their first date and the dude said "yeah I realized I have to lower my standards if I want someone" 😂😂😂
You're catching felonies and fucking bitches left and right? I can totally relate. Sometimes I sleep 12 hours instead of eight.
I sit for months and months waiting for summer then I sit and watch it through a window because it's too damn hot.
I always liked Usher, until I realized he brought us Justin Bieber. Asshole.
Cauliflower pizza? Ok this has gone too far now. Fuck it. Give me a milkshake with a foot of whipped cream on it and a pound of Crisco.
My wiener is bigger
I cant help but think of the movie 'The Great White Hype' whenever I see Mayweather and McGregor
Why do I continue to update the Twitter app when I hate every update
My soulmate is probably out fucking your soulmate right now.
Trying to find trouble...
So let me get this straight – people are crying collusion over a meeting to determine if the other side colluded?
By the time people get their asses out of bed I already have a three hour jump on them
Our country may not be perfect, but it remains the best experiment in the world.
If I ever have to go to prison I am getting a tramp stamp that says "please kill me when you're finished"
Why would anyone, no matter what political party they align with, root against the head of their nation? Your success depends on theirs
We can get North Korea to stop their nuclear program by bribery. All we need to offer to that fat man is this
ISIS is losing ground faster than the Democrats did in 2016
Monday mornings. No thanks.
You're not the only one
Saw a group of people holding signs, and walked up and asked one of them what they are protesting. He said "idk I'm here to break shit". 😂
I connected my new PS Move controller. Within five minutes I had thrown it through the front window.
Wouldn't @ShepNewsTeam fit in better at @CNN?
In honor of North Korea I have taped 4 bottle rockets together and claim myself to be a nuclear power now
this is the best thing I’ve seen today
Retweeted by Darren Fisher
Have a Great Independence Day!! From the best fans in the Land!
Retweeted by Darren Fisher
Drunk people setting off fireworks. Boarding up my windows now.
To honor the 4th of July the guy up the street is shooting fireworks at my house. To honor the 4th of July I am burning down his house.
Umm @CNN the Trump video is from the WWE lol you think it's real? 😂
Have a good pre-4th to everyone out there! #upandatem
Well if you are planning on being a boxer just remember if you want to win you have to knock them out #PacquiaoHorn
If boxing is ever going to be credible they need to finally do something about these shitty judges... 117-111 is a joke #PacquiaoHorn
Told you boxing judges screw everything #PacquiaoHorn only way to win is not let it go there
The refs are going to give this to Horn... #PacquiaoHorn
Damn Manny! You exploded! Nice!! #PacquiaoHorn
I think Manny is looking for a way out of this fight #PacquiaoHorn
Alright lets see what you got Pacquiao #PacquiaoHorn
Serously @CNN, did you really just run a story about Trump watching the news and what he is thinking while he does it? Uhh....
Up down up down up down
Gee now the mainstream media has an opportunity to attack healthcare and gun control - Bronx Lebanon Hospital
Have a good and safe Friday night everyone!
Remember back in the day when you could go more than two minutes without seeing a naked picture on your timeline?
Why is it that when people have fireworks they act like they are bombs
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