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Dyl Jordan

"squad on fleek you cant sit with us" no one wants to sit with you, you smell like old dry vodka, un brushed teeth and stale semen, next.
my bones are aching all over my body and I don't know why ugh I feel so restless someone come cuddle me
2 slices of pizza, stack them, pepporoni, chips in between them with mayo and bbq sauce, it's fucking stunning it's like a pizza burger
Why do girls who are shit at make-up hate on girls who are good at it, it takes talent to become good at make-up & hating on them is ugly
Do you ever feel like you're just so irrelevant on social media and people are just waiting for you to die out? lol
Got my application job for my new job it says "achievements" on it, I'm just going to write "manipulating old men & taking all their money"
I have nudes on tumblr i hate me hahahahaha
the only superbowl I know about is the superbowl of fried chicken noodles my local curry sells πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
he's like "suck me cock" & he gets into it pulling your hair and you're like cop on yeah knacker i'll bite the cock off yeah and then u doπŸ˜‚
I know a girl who was giving a bj & bit his dick, he had to go to A&E cause he was bleeding, he start pulling her hair and she bit him hahah
50% wanna work 50% wanna get a sugar daddy, marry him, poison him and take half of everything and live the luxury life im supposed to x
If tomorrow goes well I'll have a job woo woo
Getting ready for nothing is the most annoying thing ever, I don't want to waste this make-up ugh
When you wake up and can't go back asleep thanks alex and ross
someone buy me an iphone 5s pls thanks x
My phone got robbed last night i've a busted lip and all ughhh I'm sna[pping there's nudes on that phone from every angle scarlet for me omg
@DylJordanxo the lesson to learn from that is to just not sober up
Retweeted by Dyl Jordan
You do feel fabulous getting drunk and having fun until you see what you actually looked like the next day πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜·
It's all about progress #makeup
If you think you're having a bad day, never forget this happened
Retweeted by Dyl Jordan
I ate tuna on prawn crackers last night and curry sauce I'm a knacker 😷😷😷
BeyoncΓ©'s a little rocket πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ™πŸ½
Brought someone some happiness πŸ€—πŸŽ§
I just want everyone to remember I was here πŸ™ŒπŸ»πŸ€˜πŸ½
your mams not even your mam if she doesn't have a flippy phone cover and types with her index finger πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
This bus can fuck right off the thing smells like piss and shit I'm gonna vomit πŸ˜·πŸ˜·πŸ’©
Going to see my pregnant friend for a catchup I can't wait to feel the baby kick 😍😍
White eyeliner represents that you're a pasty bitch who takes no shit
You think to yourself agh it's lovely out I'm going to wear something summery and 2 minutes later it's like hurricane catorina 😩😩😑
Ppl in other countries should count themselves lucky they actually get a summer while its summer here we get the weather of all 4 seasons 😩
Loving a natural look lately
Squad goals since the 90's
Ice cubes son is fucking gorgeous man 😍😩
This is so extra but so me at the same time
Retweeted by Dyl Jordan
ariana out here saving pop music thank u lord
Retweeted by Dyl Jordan
This jumper I have is literally my life motto instagram.com/p/BFoFCdMl9SS/
I had a dream about ice cube's son last night he was like my closest friend but we had a thing going on I am so sad I woke up he's BEAUTIFUL
I'm more then comfortable in my own skin. If you aren't, you should work on that. Talking down on confident women will do nothing I promise.
Retweeted by Dyl Jordan
The bleeding state of them DMs that claim they're going to make u rich fuck off ur wearing an ecko tracksuit ur hardly rich now πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
I'm basically a bald, male, poor Ariana grande
At least I've a job interview next week so hopefully all goes well πŸ‘Œ
I actually smoke amber leaf, I'm on the dole and love getting pissed... Jesus Christ I'm a walking stereotype πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
@DylJordanxo dunno what a "cut crease is" but keep up the good work
Retweeted by Dyl Jordan
 
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