Forgot my kid's preschool orientation this morning, but remembered to check if Kim's baby name was revealed.
So glad to see Hollywood trying all different kinds of material. instagram.com/p/aqwJKruPfa/
I don't ask for much. All I want is for Tremors to happen irl
It gives me a thrill to pollute high-end Sumatran coffee with a liberal glug of Coffee Mate.
Me (shoeless) and Rocco (shirtless). instagram.com/p/ao5YKmkR7D/ @wescraven
A fan with CP needs a life-changing bone marrow stem cell transplant. Please donate and share. #LittleHelp youcaring.com/richardsc
Funny People @BrianLynch @TheJamieLee @julieklausner @weismanjake @mrgeorgejunior
AND I'M OUT. Thanks for birthday greetings, y'all! #35
Go see 'Bitter Orange' a short by @hopelarson
starring Brie Larson at @newbeverly
in front of Scott Pilgrim tonight! brownpapertickets.com/event/399778
Hey, Trader Joe's moussaka? "Serves 3?" More like "serves ME." LOLOL! #blessed
I'll be 35 this week, which means I remember when the Victoria's Secret catalog was full of slutty lingerie and not pink terrycloth shorts.
Nothing hotter than a Southwest pilot exhaling through his nose into the PA then saying "Howdy folks" like the world's waspiest cowboy
Now Johnny Depp is older than Wilford Brimley was in "Cocoon."
My husband is at the same bar! You can have sex with him if you want!
Dan is visiting his grandma in NJ and he texted me that he just encountered the entire cast of RHONJ. Holy crap.
6 kids, thin, gorgeous, flies a plane, rides a motorcycle, directs films, U.N., Wolverine-like healing powers, JESUS.
Angelyne makes me want to GO ON. RT @lisamustbetrue
What about Angelyne?
Angelina makes me want to give up.
I wonder if Madonna is still keeping the secret from "Live to Tell."
Me too! RT @robdelaney
I'm a big sturdy meaty fan of @thelindywest
I'm glad someone is being shown affection. RT @dmaurio
I love you, Hibb. Go Pacers!
L.A.: There are abandoned ruins of an old zoo in Griffith Park, if you're into that shit like I am. Fun yesterday. pic.twitter.com/sbdeqtW4OE
Duane Reade has decided NOT to carry my line of crotchless-yet-sensible pantyhose called SOME NONSENSE. I will live thru this. I always do.
Pretty amazing that @carrieunderwood
gave a million dollars to OK tornado relief. #Respect
DYING OF VIRTELMANIA! RT @louisvirtel
Liberace is basically your grandma as a matador.
Is it weird that I got turned on while listening to Kenny Loggins' "Return to Pooh Corner" album?
For real. Great stuff. RT @kristenschaaled
Catching some great sketches by @amyschumer
I'm face blind too, Brad Pitt. Let's chat.
My latest interesting Wikipedia find: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Martha%27…
if twete gets 1000 likes i take son to hospitle
I just tried to force @louisvirtel
to watch "Gigolos" and he could not have fled my house any faster.
Devastating critique of Hollywoods treatment of women from @MarkHarrisNYC
If you love great YA fiction (you know I do) FIRECRACKER by my pal @davidiserson
is getting bang-up reviews. Get it? #KWEEN
Shit, that new Kelly Rowland song gives me chills.
I love Monopoly! RT @vulture
TNT and TBS want cop shows, Diablo Cody, and a show about Monopoly. vult.re/YW9HC3
I'm still scared of this commercial. youtube.com/watch?v=v4zBYh…
(licks chops) RT @Deadline
NBC To Air ‘Sound Of Music’ Live Show December 5 dlvr.it/3Md2Nz
God help me, I think Michael Douglas looks hot as Liberace.
"The Ropers" also had an incredibly expensive and complex opening sequence. youtube.com/watch?v=DvcHSZ…
Someone at ABC in 1979 approved this logo. Like "Yes! That's the one!" en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Ropers
Currently modifying a chocolate Advent calendar to count down the days to "Behind the Candelabra."
Loving this show on MTV. RT @boburnham
East coast! Zach Stone starts in 10 minutes.
Remember that reality show where the former teen idols rode down Sunset in a convertible and Billy Hufsey yelled "Daddy's back!"? Just me?
I hope everyone is having a decent day, even though I know that's impossible.
Review: Birthday Cake Oreos - Yesterday I went to Ralph’s in Studio City by myself. I usually have one or... tmblr.co/ZcsrcxkSJLbl
My son told me I have a small penis. Cruel on a couple of levels.
Today I learned that Diane Keaton curated/wrote a book of clown paintings: amazon.com/Clown-Painting…
I'm going to look just like this at 67, except real fat and sloppy. dlisted.com/2013/05/06/don…
I really enjoy tweeting at the cast of "Gigolos" with my 11-year-old avatar.