“Why are you always in such a foul mood?”
Can't wait to cover secret unveiling of McConnell's new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new, new health bill in 2 weeks
Our D.C. office building got a security robot. It drowned itself.
We were promised flying cars, instead we got suicidal robots.
Nevertheless, she regenerated. #DoctorWho13
"Tell them the North remembers. Winter came for House Frey." #GameofThrones
Imagine pulling someone from a fiery crash risking your own life & being called "ex-con." His name is Aaron Tucker. twitter.com/cbsnews/status…
When you believe a being can have 2 hearts, time travel, be resurrected into different forms but not that 1 of those forms is female.
You know at some point in the GOP HQ there was a meeting about asking Sen. McCain to postpone treatment because of the optics.
We all deal with grief in different ways
"You're in such good shape, Mrs. Macron"
Mitch McConnell has to delay taking healthcare from American taxpayers until after John McCain has surgery, paid for by American taxpayers.
92 years old. Collapses while building houses for the poor
Since 1984 has built or renovated almost 4000 homes
THAT's a President twitter.com/Shareblue/stat…
If sharing hot docs with ex-KGB in the Trump Tower is not collusion then nothing is.
Amazing post. Zuckerberg is going to extraordinary lengths to connect with average Americans.
Giant Sequoia National Monument was created because of letters written by Californians. We want it to stay protected. Retweet if you agree.
"Go back to bed. This doesn't concern you."
2005: I'm a web designer
2009: I'm a UI designer
2011: I'm a UX designer
2014: I'm a product designer
2021: I'm an experience sommelier
some burger joint somewhere needs to add "nothingburger" to their menu, an all beef patty with literally every topping available.
Everything's bigger in Texas.
Thinking of Jimmy Carter today. He was working hard helping others through Habitat. I wish him a speedy recovery.
Protip: when forging documents you claim are from 2006, make sure you're not using Calibri, a font released in 2007. thenextweb.com/world/2017/07/…
Rank how well your AI demo went:
- Very Bad
I hope I've got half of Pres. Carter's vigor when I'm his age. #CantStopWontStop
Dana White looks like one of those henchmen who goes "OHH NO! ITS DA BAT!!" in a Brooklyn accent when Batman swoops in
I needed to see Captain America using sign language to chat with a guest at Disneyland today and I bet you do, too.
A massive iceberg broke off Antarctica, but it's probably just trying to move to a place with more coal jobs.
@MsKing03 @anamariecox @skolanach
Anyone else wear their sunglasses tonight?
BREAKING: Social Media Manager Disheartened After Seeing Latest Tweet For Potato Chip Brand Only Garnered 3 Likes
Any award show that involves Bill Murray and @Nick_Offerman
sabering bottles of champagne on stage is a good award show. #ESPYS
are you reading an actual book?
Him: my phone is charging I'm forced to go analog #videogamer #techprobs
is the Alex P. Keaton of the @NPR
Wow, these people have even removed my NAME from my novel's cover in the tweet. Woooooooow, mschew. 😒. They don't even know details.twitter.com/VICE/status/88…
When Gore campaign was sent Bush debate brief book, they called FBI. If foreign interests offer you info on former SOS, you call the FBI.
I see liberal media today outraged over Trump Jr emails &yet are curiously silent on the concentration camps during Anglo-Boer war 1899-1902
JULY 12 will be a huge day of action for #NetNeutrality
to ensure choice, competition + free speech online. Sign up act.freepress.net/signup/interne…
I tracked down sources. Followed so many dead leads. Labored over this. And then, he just, you know, tweeted out the proof.
TWITTER, 2009: this is neat, Shaq responds to people and stuff!
TWITTER, 2017: the insane president's idiot son is live-tweeting treason
DON JR: ok so I hav this email, it says i did it
LAWYER: damn, ok. just don't show anyone
DON JR [lookin up from twitter]: don't b mad
WAITER: fresh-ground pepper?
DAVID BROOKS: [to no one] THIS IS NORMAL. HE IS ASKING IF WE WOULD LIKE PEPPER, A SPICE, ON OUR FOOD
Trump: Did you bomb Pearl Harbor?
Trump: I believe you. Let's partner on port security.
The real thing to be annoyed with Millennials about is their inexplicable Fleetwood Mac revisionism. Gen X had finally buried them
Donald Trump Jr. was informed that the material was part of a Russian government effort to aid his dad’s candidacy. nytimes.com/2017/07/10/us/…
These 6 Tips Will Make You An Email Response Rockstar mz.cm/2ujqn8s
Great opportunity to get hands-on experience with this new tech (and other products you'll encounter on the job): twitter.com/GVTechShowcase…
With these numbers, maybe the ban is to protect refugees from Americans. twitter.com/muslimiq/statu…
Does whatever a spider can
Uses violence to stop a theft
So much for the tolerant left
The dog's reaction when the cat jabs him 😭CH