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Patrick
My wife takes up all the bathroom cabinets and I get 1 drawer in the entire house
Everytime I get a truetwit DM I feel like running your foot over with my car
My drawer with clutter is so full I need another one
Man how I wish she would drop the soap #livegymtweets
The doctor told me that if I keep Retweeting like this then I will go blind
If you wonder why you get blocked a lot, you may want to look at your @ ratio
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Kiss Me I'm Polish-wait, wrong day -My Bad
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You slowly melt me down with your love
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You're one of those bridges that I don't know whether to mend or burn
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I only have 3 food groups and they are all coffee
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Show me on this 4 Leaf Clover where you'd like me to touch you
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You're pretty cool now that you're in love with someone else
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Lead me not into temptation, I blocked you cuz you were annoying and to top it off-I don't speak #'s
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I think someone needs to tell the writers of Glee that High School is still only 4 years
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I think I just found my way home To you
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You're putting me back together one kiss at a time
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Fact: Try to learn something new everyday, and you'll never go to bed as dumb as you were when you woke up.
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It's like my grandpa always said, "Quit your whining you snot nosed little shit!" Damn I miss him.
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Where's the app that will make my TC fall in love with me?
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I perform self abuse on myself while wearing a pirate costume because my body is a plunderland.
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On a tragic note: my glass is empty.
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Bacon and titties I just won the internet Haiku for yo' ass
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@streetSinger9: I am staying up & watching ‘Cosmos: A Spacetime Oddyssey’ tonight… pic.twitter.com/hzyKv8GVKz
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