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You are all busy praying for France and Japan while you don't even pray in the morning to thank God for the gift of life 😟
Brag with the sheesha smoke from your mouth and nose on IG... Later in life uanze kuchangisha pesa za Kwenda treatment India 😡
Kikuyu Bible app on play store 😂 hadn't seen itM
But all the toilets /latrines in primary school had the word "Sex" written on the walls 😂
Jeso 😂😂 R@OCTOPIZZ0
Z0: Wewe unaringa na ulikataa shule ukuwe Malaya@VeraSidika
ka : Juliani Na Octopizzo walikataa shule wakuwe Rappers !
Heavy drinkers who never buy liquor in house parties are so annoying ...stay your broke ass home
I'd never be broke if i had a P ...I'd have that high mileage vagina 😂
Never trust a Kikuyu that doesn't like waru
Who called it masturbation instead of imaginary sex with your crush 😀
when you see your friend hanging out with someone they were talking shit about just the other day
BREAKING: Five dead and seven injured after train derails in France dailym.ai/1loukDE
I always feel naked without my watch
Now waiting for the UK to issue a travel advisory for France same way they do to African countries... Conceited western world.
Let's pray for #Paris
... In other news, waiting to hear if the UK and US will issue a travel advisory same way they did to Kenya
I can't get over the fact that some nigga somewhere is sleeping with my future wife 😢
Chiqs who are not so beautiful got so much affection & loyalty unlike the gorgeous hunnies
Twitter standards are there to be set... If you let them dictate your life, you're a fool.
Naskia entrance ya kuingia bash ya @Brianmbunde
ni kuRT tweets zake tano Alafu uonyeshe bouncer screenshot 😁
Post Mbunde's party drama kesho kwa TL.... Sijui Nani alienda 1824 in a pyjamas.... The timeline tomorrow will be lit 🔥
Pastries are so feminine... Mwanaume ni kufinya Ugali na mboga ya kienyeji Alafu later anatafuna mukombero.
Poor Stan, I feel for him. He got framed though. In a way he can't get himself out of it. twitter.com/mckym/status/6…
These Eastland ladies can't create a full English sentence without saying "and I was like " 😩😩😩😩
".. .and I was like.... " ~Nairobi proverb
Stan subru has been jailed for 8 years at Naivasha maximum security prison for attempted murder
Sometimes you have to date a mzungu & spend the shit out of his/her money. Make them pay for colonialism,the pain your grandparents endured
✴Instagram > filters, duck faces and downloaded foods
✴Snapchat > fake accents
✴Twitter > googled jargon
Fake lifestyles all over
You're not loyal to filters
: 2200 followers on Twitter, 200 followers on instagram"
Ripped jeans have replaced the tights with the American flag... These hoes won't let us breathe
LMFAO " @mckym
: Uliza huyu >>> @nyanyako
Where did Mugo wa Wairimi go to ??
mckym: You're not loyal to filter@MissyDiana__
ana__: 2200 followers on Twitter, 200 followers on instagram""
Jack city is the real kibanda
Toothpicks ndo vijiko
Chipo ni thate bob
Kula Ukiwa umesimama
Ventilation ni nyukwa
Matumbo ya kibanda huwa na soup thick sababu huwa hawaoshi mavi
Ever noticed how fast we are to #MCM
people we can't get and ignore those who adore us
The only flavour in any kibanda food is the smoke
Unaitisha Ugali na mboga ya kienyeji kwa kibanda ,Alafu unapatana na kanyama ukimalizia, jua hiyo ni snail
Kibanda haifai Kuwa na meza ama viti. .. Ndo maana unawekewa food kwa plate ya plastic isikuchome Ukiwa umesimama
The only metallic thing in a kibanda should be the sufuria.. All others should be plastic
The dirt and the roaches are what defines a kibanda.
If a kibanda is clean, its name changes to a makeshift food tent
Cockroaches and dirt are what makes the kibanda food yummy as they thicken the soup
In a real kibanda, mafuta ya ku-deep fry mandazi inakuwa recycled until it changes colour to black
These bitches will finish us
We tend to hate on what we can't afford
: The new model jeep looks ugly af
Wanna prove people's assumptions of who you are wrong?You will go crazy and die of stress.People will talk behind your back no matter what
ckym: We can't date if you have pronunciation problems 😒
Assumptions, ruining relationships since time immemorial
If twitter removes the 140 character limit we're doomed.... Who'll even have the time to read the long essays in form of tweets 😴
Keep your private life private if you want peace of mind