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Darth Vader
comedystar wars 423,970 followers
The ability to chill your drink is insignificant compared to the power of the Force - thinkgeek.com/product/f0b6/i…
Had planned a relaxing getaway to the beach this weekend, then I remembered about all the sand. #nooooooooooooo
Awkward day with the kids. #HappyMothersDay
I am your father's brother's nephew's cousin's former roommate. #MayTheSchwartzBeWithYou #StarWarsSpaceBallsDay
May the Fourth be with you as we celebrate #StarWarsDay with these delicious dark side @darthvader cupcakes @starwars pic.twitter.com/xO6b1gcA3Z
Retweeted by Darth Vader
Despite how adorable I was, even *I'm* starting my #StarWarsDay marathon w/ Ep II. #MayThe4thBeWithYou
It's curtains for you Princess. Lacy, gently wafting curtains.
I chose the dark side and all I got was this lousy suit.
The state of the empire is as strong as my Death Star.
You may have Snowden but I have Organa. Rounding up more Bothans... io9.com/death-star-own…
The circle is now complete. JJ force-chokes Ep VII writer, assumes writing duties w/ Kasdan - slashfilm.com/michael-arndt-…
I am your Halloween costume. Search your feelings. You will know it to be true.
I'm the reason for the season. Happy Star Wars Day to you & yours. #maythefourthbewithyou
Boston, the Force is with you.
Re: Pope Benedict - All too easy. #toosoon?
I told Jar Jar to stay away from the fuse box, but he never listens. #Superbowl
Beyoncé almost looks as good in black as I do. Almost. #SuperBowl
Dear NFL: I am available for #SuperBowl musical appearances. Bonus: No one can tell if I'm lip-syncing.
Yes, I was married. It was a secret wedding, a S-E-C-R-E-T. Our registry was at Blood, Bath & Beyond.
At least my dead girlfriend was real. Too soon? #touchdown
ALL THESE WORLDS ARE YOURS EXCEPT ALDERAAN. ATTEMPT NO LANDING THERE. TRUST ME ON THIS ONE. #2010
Yes, my kids are more important than yours. Jedi > muggles.
Congratulations @TheAtlantic, your failure is now complete - theatln.tc/W8Igi0 #kenobicruise
Time to make the donuts, and by that I mean kill all the Jedi.
I may be more machine now than man, but Kenobi was 100% 'Old Coot'.
Yes waitress, of *course* I take my coffee black. #andastraw
I sense an awkward disturbance in the Force. No wait, that was just Jodie Foster. #GoldenGlobes
Just remember, blasters don't kill rebels. Rebels kill rebels.
A serious mistake, Mr. President. You can never have enough planet-sized lasers - nbcnews.to/WZqSvf #starwars
This deal with #disney is getting better all the time. #starwars
Long voting lines got you down? At least you *have* a democracy. We just have this moby.to/xl31pd #VOTE
My little girl's all grown-up and overthrowing empires. Sniff - th03.deviantart.net/fs71/PRE/i/201… #disney #starwars
The halloween costume reflected in my new avatar in NO WAY reflects the Empire's new corporate culture. moby.to/wdpqoo
You've Got A Fiend In Me.
My shuttle pilot just told me to keep my hands & arms inside the vehicle at all times while it is in motion. He's dead now.
There is just one moon and one golden sun, Better treat me right or they'll be Alderaan. #starwars #disney
When I left you I was but the learner, now *I* am the Mouseketeer. #disney #starwars
I loved my teacher too. Until I killed him. #debates
Sadly, my binders are full of clones, not women. #debates