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Darren Hayes
I got something stuck up my chimney after a first date but it wasn’t a lady I can tell you that much..…
And now.. fucking exercise.
I’m lost in the Wen infomercial TV purgatory #3AMConfessions
Why is ‘abbreviation’ such a long word -__-
Retweeted by Darren Hayes
This is still my favourite type of comedy.…
This year for Halloween I’d like to come as a cinnabon. Proving difficult.
Wrote this years ago with @LizzyPattinson @steveyounguk - Heartlights… written/performed by
Amazing. RT 'Jesus Was A Radical Nonviolent Revolutionary' By @JohnFugelsang
Turnip for what!?
I’m doing a new comedy podcast soon with my friend @timstantonx - this is him at my house last night.
Richard just did a shopping list.. ‘Right. Almond milk. Human milk. And cereal’. Yup. That’s us.
Dear @ZzzQuil : Last night I dreamed of being stabbed by an ex, forgetting lyrics on live TV & bonding with Prince. I liked the Prince bit.
Dammit. They’re all out of adult sized hobbit feet. #Halloween
I recorded a live acoustic demo of one of my most recognisable songs just for fun. Here you go:…
I recorded a live acoustic demo of one of my most recognisable songs, as an experiment really. Here you go:…
It’s amazing for his health but I gotta say I sorta had a crush on chunky Zach Galafanakis
My favourite thing about the movie ‘Cabin in the Woods’ is the suggestion of ‘sexy witches’ on the whiteboard. You had to have seen it.
I’m obsessed with the @nickjonas single ‘Jealous’. If I were making a pop record, I’d want that song on there! Slow, sexy sub pop. Love.
Thank you Jeebers for @TheSoup . For the sunsets, puppies and candy etc but mostly for @TheSoup
I fucking love my life. My friends. My love. My job. My art. My dog. My farts. Yes, even my farts.
Contractually obligated to plug podcast @LookHughesTalkn because my unappreciative friend @timstantonx just used my talents on a future ep.
I was just a guest on the @LookHughesTalkn podcast tonight. Follow those guys and they’ll let you know when my episode airs. Funny stuff!
About to get kicked off a serious Star Wars FB group for posting this: Read:
Funny comedian friends. John Hughes films reviewed. What’s not to love about @LookHughesTalkn podcast? Go. Now!
@darrenhayes its hard to believe that many of the people mocking Amanda Bynes were the ones "raising awareness" when Robin Williams died.
Retweeted by Darren Hayes
you cared about robin williams because his mental health problems were hidden & controllable. you laugh at amanda bynes because hers are not
Retweeted by Darren Hayes
On a separate note, wish paps would leave Richard & I alone. Here we were on the beach earlier in a private moment,
I think it's incredibly irresponsible for ‘news’ outlets to mock Amanda Bynes. Mental illness is not entertainment. She needs treatment.
To get your prawn name take your first name and add 'the prawn' to the end, mine's Neil the prawn.
Retweeted by Darren Hayes
All these people saying they didn’t see Ben Affleck’s penis in ‘Gone Girl’: I’m starting to doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Friends daughter Jordan E. Quigley is missing.Last seen in Poughkeepsie driving a Cherokee. Call Police 732-657-6111
Retweeted by Darren Hayes
Just me or does this seasonal Starbucks drink appear to be a pissing myself laughing latte? Just me then.
Oh. I saw Ben Affleck’s penis last night. I mean, the movie ‘Gone Girl’. Both were impressive and had a strange ending.
Religion/faith, should make you happy and that joy should reflect on everyone else. If not, try star jumps!
Retweeted by Darren Hayes
LA - go look at the moon if you’re up. Now. Trust me.
Woot! RT @freedomtomarry: 9thCircuit does not delay, issues mandate in ruling moments ago, meaning #Idaho right now has freedom to marry.
‘If I’ve told them once I’ve told them a thousand times. Put Spinal Tap first, then Puppet Show’.…
Absolutely disgusting violation of human rights. Free Briton Ray Cole, in Morocco prison for being gay.…
It must be very lonely being a vampire zombie clown.
Media reporting on and publishing pap photos of Amanda Bynes are tormenting this girl. She’s not seeking fame and is clearly struggling.
Sawt Warda TearFee Frorm Bawtimore
My sister and I talk Elvis, Jackson, America and pooping in my latest podcast…
I sat down and recorded an amazing conversation with my big sister Tracey for this podcast, ‘Big Sister Love’…
L.A honestly feels like the surface of the sun today. It’s Fall i.e. NOT SUMMER. I’ll bet Elton John could get them to change the season.
I don’t need permish to make my own decish. That’s my PRGTV. #downwithkids