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Dane Cook
comedian comedy live music 3,027,268 followers
Had to lay down. I'm not just feeling so unprecedented.
If you're 9 months pregnant you should not enter at Carolina Reaper eating contest.
#Models #ModelingLife #ModelAirplanes #ModelCitizen #ModelingPortfolio #Model6
If you're a model you have to lose 10 pounds by Thursday.
Relationships get better as you start to uncover each others true wants and needs.
I'm on snapchat now user name: MyNameGoesHere - Will be on Instagram in 9 minutes @DaneCook and maybe hit another social network site later.
#TruthPatrol #HonestPolice #FactProtectors #YesGroup #ForSureNation #AgreeSquad #RightRangers #YupInvestigators
You're having bad sex when you start wondering when and how you're going to die.
I love stand up comedy. This is the greatest life. I've met almost all of my heroes and can't wait to get onstage tonight. #thankful
@ZacEfron: I'm excited and a little bit nervous. Thanks for watching! #RunningWIld” And thank you for viewing me on @NakedAndAfraid after!
PLS special HUGE rock star surprise performance AND a couple other names that will cement THIS is the show not to miss this summer.
Dane Cook & Friends: A Benefit For Pete Laugh Factory Hollywood July 31st-8pm Bill Burr, Jerrod Carmichael… TIX NOW!
If you crash your car while making a Vine video you need to be arrested for "just fucking dumb."
I will climb the outside of the Eiffel Tower naked while listening to Muse "Survival." #JustPutItOutThere
Just threatened to go all "Game of Thrones" on my neighbor if he didn't stop screaming outside. No idea what I meant but it sounded harsh.
@cliffyharv: @DaneCook move over Cruise, there's a new TopGun in town- Dusty Crophopper #Planes2 rocks!” Awesome!
Anyone want to want Anyone
.@tonyrobbins I woke up w/ a desire to kidnap myself, hold me for ransom & demand an amount of money I don't have. Am I ok? What's it mean?
The universe is on your side when your gf is about to see a pic another girl txt you & a colossal coronal mass ejection disrupts the globe.
Here at Comic Con with an exclusive 1st look at Batman v Superman! #wow #magic #sdcc
Pool party 1994 style.
I'm waiting at Stage 16 in Sweden for JJ Abrams to show me a ship for his reboot of Ice Pirates! Thx @bad_robot for making it happen. #SDCC
Hey Air Power quick question can the kids play this amongst themselves or does there have to be an angry looking grown man dressed like an 80s assassin playing too?
I wonder if life on other planets has grown out of this "fucking assholes everywhere" phase our species is miring in.