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Dane Cook
About this DM rumor.
@DaneCook I've watched troublemaker on Showtime a couple times already. It's hysterical. I don't know where you come up with this shit.
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@DaneCook Thank you for all the great laughs. I was just listening to Sirius 95. Dane Cook I did my best- greatest hits. You are awesome.
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I did the About Last Night podcast with @AdamRay33 & @BradWilliamsComic a couple weeks back. Give it a listen but while you are here can anyone explain how Adam is standing? I feel like it's a puzzle. It really really bothers me.
I've been thinking about doing a documentary where I go back & have sex one more time with all of my ex gfs. Anyone have a good title?
Please vote for my mistress @Angie_Harmon for the Peoples Choice Awards! It takes 3 minutes:
I expect there'll be a lot of slutty Khaleesis' this Halloween. And a lot of guys dressed as horribly out of shape Dothraki.
β€œ@MabelynnCapeluj: @DaneCook only if she can watch ;)” -- You would like that you creepy nymphomaniac.
Hey .@MabelynnCapeluj can I just book this wax sesh directly through you here?
If they ever make a live action movie of the Pillsbury Dough Boy an out of shape Chris Pratt should play Boy.
β€œ@MabelynnCapeluj: @DaneCook your* -- I seen it you brat.
Your relationship is over if you're reading this and nodding yes.
@DaneCook yo, #Troublemaker is TOO damn probably ended 75% of relationships that were present in the audience that night πŸ™ˆπŸ™ŠπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
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.@tomgreenlive said: Dane Cook Talks Early Internet: Thanks @DaneCook for stopping by the show! - Anytime Tom!
If anyone has any #DaneCook #Troublemaker memes post them here with those hashtags and I will RT or FAV a bunch now.
That irritating "time of the month" for men is when our football team has a bye week.
A few women I know are having their periods. I'm guessing most of you have synced up & sexually for men this is a bye week.
Spending some quality minutes over the weekend with a few funny kids, a club owner & a photobomber. Introducing @TheRealRussellP @JeremyHotz @NealBrennan @JamieMasada & @RandyTheDoorGuy
You’re always the best in your field if you’re creating the field.
I did dozens of interviews last week. This quote accidently fell out of my mouth. I wanted to share it with you all. It might just help.
You can't rain on my parade because I've already designed it to be aquatic themed.
UPDATE on sweaty butt in front of me. After a sprint it now looks like a reservoir filled with Macintosh computers.
β€œ@LensPunk: @DaneCook should this be the first face I see heading to the crapper?” -- Ha. That's so wrong.
This person at the gym sweat a Rorschach test on their ass. I see an industrial complex with a moat of ninja stars & trombones.
@DaneCook Did NOT think anything would ever top Vicious Circle for me, but damn if I wasn't hysterical watching Troublemaker. #thanks dude!
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Guess where I'm not?
β€œ@mrgarelick: @DaneCook dot com! Ha! Laughing my ass off at the new special #Troublemaker” Thx brother !
I am DYING laughing at @DaneCook #troublemaker freaking HYSTERICAL! πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸŽ‰πŸ’πŸŒπŸ”«
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Immediately bought tickets for @DaneCook at the @BeaconTheatre after watching #Troublemaker tonight. No regrets.
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@DaneCook when can I get #Troublemaker on DVD?? I need to watch it so I can laugh hysterically for hours on end
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Just watched @DaneCook 's new special and the king is are the man Dane
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@DaneCook you are a very funny man & all kinds of wrong. Continue. Yes, please. ❀️#BatchOfBitches
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@DaneCook So after watching #Troublemaker with my mom she now is on to Vicious Circle and MSG. She just pulled her rib from laughing
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@DaneCook #Troublemaker was hysterical! Well done. You've still got it. πŸ˜‚ & people don't realize all the charitable work u and Jamie do! πŸ‘πŸ’©
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@DaneCook great special dude, #Troublemaker solidifies your place in comedy history. Also, if I need fatherly advice, can I come to you?
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Fuck you @DaneCook now my wife wants to see my phone.
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Hey east coast why dontcha hashtag #DaneCook & let the west coast know some of your fav lines in the special starting at 7:30 on Showtime 2.
.@McKaylaMaroney it actually airs tonight at 7:30 on Showtime 2! This link has all the dates/times for reairing:…
OH YAH GUYS don't miss the hilarious #Troublemaker w/ my friend @DaneCook tonight at 10 on showtime!! #DaneCook…
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Lessons learned from @DaneCook don't let yourself get racist hungry #Troublemaker
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@DaneCook you are the only reason why I have been on Twitter in months just to tweet how funny #Troublemaker is everyone must watch this
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