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Abbi Crutchfield
You feeling okay Donald? You look a little green.
Treats that expand into pork rinds. "Put them in the microwave, and watch them puff'n'grow! Teach your dog science!"
This was invented by a pirate. "Arrr if it be good enough for me, it be good enough for ye!"
Today on #WhatIPutBack - a dusty, waffle-flavored lip balm (which means syrup-flavor) from 2008 sold near Rockefeller Center. But girl you know I got that Frankenberry chillin' in the cut!
Hot summer days were made for chicken pot pie. #HelpMe #ImBadAtDecidingWhatToEat
Somebody gonna make a baby in Union Square tonight.
When you remember that tomorrow is Friday.
Retweeted by Abbi Crutchfield
šŸŽ¶Welcome to the Space Jam. It's your chance/enrage your fans at the Space Jam/All rightļæ½du
But what about my friend? He cut his finger, and all that was left was dunub.
WATCH the #PEOPLENow live-stream to find out why @ConnorFranta is ready to take on the world! peoplem.ag/5vqbRyc
We go now live to the unusually large raisin located inside a bran muffin that is freaking everyone out.
See me on #SistersOfComedy 7/22 7:30pm or deal with the residual FOMO 4 the rest of your life. bit.ly/1N6gaPz
I'm on #SistersOfComedy Wed July 22 at 7:30pm! Come through or deal with the residual FOMO for the rest of your life. Tickets: bit.ly/1N6gaPz
This is where I rent my kilts at.
What I DO have is a very particular set of skills...
Onward! @ShannonBeador of @BravoRHOC talks rebuilding her marriage on #PEOPLENow live stream: peoplem.ag/5vqbRyc
This is where I get all my candy groceries.
I can't draw but this is the basic concept I'm working with:
Retweeted by Abbi Crutchfield
@GarryShandling The consensus seems to be "The Trouble With Tribbles".
Retweeted by Abbi Crutchfield
THIS WED 7/22 #SistersofComedy at Gotham Cmdy Club w/ @curlycomedy & ALL STAR lineup GET TIX!! bit.ly/1N6gaPz
Retweeted by Abbi Crutchfield




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