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Abbi Crutchfield

People were saying, "F--- Le Pen, he's racist," back when I studied abroad in France in 1999. He's still around I guess.
Adding mini marshmallows to toasted oat cereal seems weird until you realize that is what Lucky Charms are.
What if I told you... I photoshopped the same face onto every man behind Trump. Would you have noticed if I hadn't said anything?#GOPclones
Retweeted by Abbi Crutchfield
When you're sleeping and someone says there are doughnuts for breakfast.
Retweeted by Abbi Crutchfield
Except for the fact that I live in a toaster, of course. #LearnBitmoji
Remember that episode where Blossom gets drunk off spiked punch at a frat party? Be safe this Cinco de Mayim Bialik.
Retweeted by Abbi Crutchfield
Bob Wiley's advice turned this teen into an NYPD detective of the Major Case Squad.
@cakecomedy missing y'all by a few, our tours are weaving in and out of each other. Hope it's going well!
Retweeted by Abbi Crutchfield
My dog sleeps like Snoopy dances. #bullpeiattention
#Indianapolis 🏁See you at@whiterabbitcabb TONIGHT at 7pm! 🎟Use discount code: CAKE to get tickets for $…ySQ
Retweeted by Abbi Crutchfield
We're excited for our remaining @kickstarter shows in #Nashville and #Asheville ! Use code: CAKE to see us for $5!…
Not even Thomas Jefferson could decide on a selfie.
The Living Room Show at the Postmark Cafe in Park Slope starts in 15 minutes and it's free! @curlycomedy + co
Retweeted by Abbi Crutchfield
One last @insecurehbo writers' room wine down before wrapping S2! ❤️
Retweeted by Abbi Crutchfield
What do we do in the car between cities? You oughta know. #cakecomedytour cc: queen @Alanis
Retweeted by Abbi Crutchfield
Animal crackers are 2% recognizable and 98% decapitated creatures that don't exist.
Road food doesn't have to be unhealthy. It just has to be @panerabread (PITTSBURGH: See @cakecomedy at @ArcadeComedy tonight! 10pm 🎟)G
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