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Gordon Vivace
You're calling ME impatient? Sean Hannity and Dr. Laura have both come up in conversation in just two hours. Have I shot anyone? No.
the best part about bitcoins is that you get to watch libertarians slowly discover why financial regulations exist to begin with
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He: "This is an incredibly bad idea." Me: "I accept."
Left a well lit parking garage and found blocks later I was driving with my lights off. Pulled over and called myself names. Fair is fair.
Indifference towards those in need is not acceptable for a Christian.
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Affection, a sense of community and a sense of concern for others are not some kind of luxury. They’re about the survival of humanity.
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Just once I would like to hear someone say "The inmates have taken over the asylum" and mean it literally. That could be fun.
"@repdonyoung is ambidexterous. He can put either foot in his mouth" -- Alaskan in DC is unsure how chips are gonna fall #Midterms2014
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I'd like election day to be over so I stop getting 40 emails per hour. I already unplugged the phone yesterday.
I set my clock back to 1987 and waited a whole day before complaining. I still don't look 20 again. This time theory stuff is bullshit.
"Go ahead and call the cops. They can't unrape you" said a cop, on tape, after joking about raping a woman. Even assholes are bigger in TX.
I'm disillusioned by your delusions. *proofreads* Yes. Yes that's accurate.
Share your story with us and say what you couldn't in person. You may help yourself and others. We'd love to listen! tinyurl.com/lettersgoodbye
I don't know why everyone's suddenly so fascinated by Mandarin just because of Zuckerberg. They've always had good oranges.
Tomato, scallion and arugula spicy sour cream frittata with brie, figs, apples and crusty bread for in-law brunch. pic.twitter.com/Wh4IZCdIoe
Let's see if our collective attention spans are long enough to learn this lesson. youtube.com/watch?v=dRl8EI…
“Why does shame and self-loathing become cruelty to the innocent ?” ― Anne Rice
“I never wonder to see men wicked, but I often wonder to see them not ashamed.” ― Jonathan Swift
“All cruelty springs from weakness.” ― Seneca
In a group chat about ambivalence. Him: "I guess that's ambivalence. I don't know. I don't really think about it." Me: LOL! Him: "What?"
Silence just means I'm still thinking. There'll be something to write soon, though I can't promise it won't piss anyone off given the week.
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Raccoon poop is arguably the most disgusting thing you can find on your patio in the morning. Although, it speaks to the importance of diet.
I'm dismayed to realize @StackJS programmatically favorites any Tweet with "JavaScript" in it and doesn't actually love me. Now I'm lonely.
I just used ASP for more than <!-- #include -->. My <SCRIPT LANGUAGE="JavaScript"> side is all "Cheatin'! She ain't all 'dat." I feel dirty.
I am becoming quite the <SCRIPT LANGUAGE = "JavaScript"> geek for all the same reasons I liked Perl, back in the day.
Aaaaaaaaaaannndd .... Fuck you, round 643.
One should not need to make coffee in the dark. It feels unnatural. Let us call me "not a winter person," nor a morning person, in fact.
I'm so tired of IE. Why doesn't MS get on the bandwagon? 50 extra lines of page and css code just to make a site work in IE is ludicrous.
Here's the thing about alleging right: If you're black-hearted about it good people won't care you're right, only that you can't be trusted.
My computer is behaving very well today. I'm suspicious.
Maybe it's only me who finds this a really awkward slogan for a health beverage. pic.twitter.com/Lo9dllzm0A
Peete's. Use only 30% more of our expensive dark roast beans for the same flavor as regular coffee. "When the bean isn't rich, but you are."
My 2 favourite ios 8 features are that my own pictures are now hidden from me and my messages don't work properly.
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If it wasn't for @neutrogena, it's unlikely I'd have any body products, but I love their stuff and apparently want to help feed their kids.
There wouldn't even need to be a typo for me to get that letter. pic.twitter.com/A6yWdB2xYS
Before you ask what the red is, consider whether or not you really want to know how someone gets razor burn all over his body.
Migrating 8 email accounts, calendar and contacts to gmail: PITA. But, needing to be at your desk is very 90s and I should be hipper by now.
I just read that the 2014 MacArthur Genius grants are out. My phone must not be working.
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If the thing in your back is so painful you can't move your head or work a mouse, today's plans for the rowing machine are probably in vain.
The expression is "soup to nuts." Oddly, soup and nuts is what I've been eating for two days. I don't think that's what they meant.
“Relax. It’s not a competition.” “Right. That’s what I say.” “But I said it first.”
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Dear Apple: Want a privacy policy? Ok. Deleting my binary and requiring I start submission over because you upgraded software? FU very much.
You may not have liked what was said, but at a certain point there can be no denying it was true if you do nothing to fix it.
To all who say "One hour of sleep is worse than getting none at all," you are correct. This rule equally applies to thirty minutes.