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Cool or Jerk
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I can't believe #BlackStormtrooper is actually a big thing.
#TDSBreakingNews Facebook opens office in China despite ban, because you know what's cool? A BILLION years in Chinese prison. #WeSmellSequel
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Do you think the teenyboppers @iHeartRadio knew who that old British guy was?
Apparently, @jimmykimmel can no longer show his face at Jr. High football games because he wouldn't publicly apologize to Kanye West.
Watching the #BreakingBadMarathon. The early Walt and jesse banter is soooo great. They'll be missed.
They forgot to include NBC's comedy lineup in their death montage. #Emmys
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HACKED: The iPhone's fingerprint sensor has already been broken into - @BuzzFeed
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So, it appears that Joseph Gordon Levitt's new movie is a bio-pic about the Situation. #DonJon
On a bus to be part of the #planetbritney announcement.
Health tip: You can make your own “100-calorie packs” by putting 100 calories worth of any food into a plastic bag, dumbass.
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#MTV posted a clip where #Miley responds to the critism of her #VMA performance. Somehow, it just adds to the nausea.…
#FrancoRoast I like how Seth Rogan is laughing harder at his own jokes than anyone else. He's the only person in the world that can do that.
#DianaNyad has completed her Cuba to Florida swim on her fifth try. She's 64.
They shouldn't give #CDJ's noteworthy slots at major music festivals. #MadeInAmerica
Supreme Court justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg is performing a gay wedding ceremony. She's like the #LadyGaga of the high courts. #Cool.
I don't trust children. They're here to replace us.
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After a week of drug and separation rumors, #lamarodom reportedly got a DUI last night. Good guy hitting rough times or just a jerk?
Reports say that #NorthKorea's population is dealing with massive meth addiction. Found you a place to ditch the heat, #walterwhite.
#JamesSpader has been announced as the new #avengers movie. He was highly underrated as Robert California on the office. #Coolorjerk?
#alecbaldwin pinned a photog to a car. Unlike other jerk celebs, baldwin always does these things with a #jackdonaghy swagger. #coolorjerk?
If you've seen a drug go away and then come back again, you're too old to do it.
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The Pungent Clam, it would kinda have a Long John Silvers theme. #BadStripClubNames
#robertzimmerman is requesting $200k from the state of Florida. #biggestdouche in the universe. #coolorjerk?
I bet #robinthicke has spent the day in the shower, curled up in a ball and crying.
Did the #MileyCyrus performance at the #VMAs feel a little forced and desperate? #Coolorjerk?
So, who thinks @daftpunk will actually perform at the #VMAs?
I hate how @_RobertDeNiro_ is older than dirt but he still looks cooler than I ever have and ever will. #protectthefamily
If #DrunkHistory ever gets cancelled, I might have to start taping myself reading wikipedia out loud while drunk and watching it later.
"@RichardDreyfuss: You read for a part, you feel good about it, you feel confident, then they cast Ben Affleck." He woulda been better.
"@AlbertBrooks: I'm now offended the mayor of San Diego never made a pass at me." Aren't we all?
Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer announced he'll be retiring within 12 months. My opinion: ding-dong the witch is dead! #Coolorjerk?
#BradleyManning, after getting 35 years in prison, now says he's a woman named Chelsea. #Coolorjerk?
Praise the lard! Enter Las Vegas' United Church of Bacon. --
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So, it sounds like @DrPhil needed advice on bedding a drunk girl. #coolorjerk?
Yahoo CEO Melissa Mayer 's photo spread for vogue has been said to be a distraction from the issues that are really important. #Coolorjerk?
Dude, we're stoned teenagers. Stonagers.
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'Daily Show' correspondents drink for free at #LasVegas #magic convention. --
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Forget Rolling Stone. I still can't believe People Magazine went with this cover.
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San Diego mayor Bob Filner finished his pervert-rehab a week early, while his latest victim to come forward is a great-grandma. #Coolorjerk?

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