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Everyone wants a bite of the Cookie Monster. #college #CTL
If you don't use holidays as an excuse to stuff your face with ungodly amounts of food then you're doing it wrong.
Having a good time is my full time job. #LaborDay
Is it even an American holiday if you don't get hammered?
There's no day off for my liver #LaborDay
You know how Mario eats a magic mushroom and suddenly gains a few lives? That's how I feel when I eat a breakfast sandwich.
I talk a lot of snack for someone on a diet
Labor Day Weekend: saying fuck you to Monday since 1882
Everyone: Bond, James Bond. Me: Bitch, Bitch Please.
Any night that starts with tequila is gonna end with a bang
Whoever told Taylor Swift she can dance deserves a punch to the throat.
It's been 72 hours since I last saw my dignity so I'm officially reporting it missing.
True Life: I ate entire week's worth of snacks in one night #drunchies
Sundays just shouldn't count
Having to be told about you and your night entirely by somebody else. #CTL
Having the real college breakfast: advil and gatorade with a side of sunglasses.
Give me iced coffee or give me death
I'm never drinking again that's a lie.
Whenever I meet a freshman all I can think is, "I must corrupt you." #CTL
I'm getting into a serious relationship with mixed drinks
Moment of silence for all of the alcohol we cannot drink because they taste like that time we almost died. Miss you guys.
I am so glad to be back with people who share my degenerate drinking habits
Coasters are irrelevant because I never put my drink down
Surround yourself with friends who have similar drinking habits.
I'm either hungry or eating there is no inbetween
Friday night: 1, Me: -238047
If I had a medal I would give it to guacamole for being the real MVP
50 shades of turnt the fuck up.
Well... Sometimes I have the feeling I can be normal, but then I think, mmm... better not.
If you need me I'll be casually blacking out at Happy Hour
Stalking other people's Instagrams like No.... you're not that hot
I want a hot bod but also a burrito... do you see my dilemma
Hey sorry I'm late I didn't want to come
Retweeted by CollegeTownLife
Raise your hand if you have ever felt personally victimized by Thirsty Thursday
"RT @kimmfoote: I want tailgates. What that really means is I want buffalo chicken dip. @CollegeTownLife" preeachhh
I wish they sold motivation as a school supply.
Gather all your thirsty Thursday supplies early. #college #CTL
Wine: because it isn't good to keep things bottled up
There is something about getting a pedicure that just soothes the soul
I have the whole parking garage memorized except for where I parked my car
cant. stop. online. [window] shopping.
People that eat breakfast every morning have their life together and should not be trusted
Tentative prediction about my 8 a.m. class this semester: no
I'm not saying my friends are better than yours but they are.
Why be average when you can Beyonce