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The best month of the year has arrived #October
You will never be old and wise if you're not young and crazy. #CTL
The new emojis that were supposed to be a thing but then weren't are why I have trust issues
Nowhere in the syllabus does it say I can't pregame class
When people try to interrupt my nap....
Aggressively thinking about being skinny while eating fries.
Wake me up when September ends or like don't, and I'll keep sleeping
My class level is either coloring sheets or building a rocket ship there is no in-between.
Staying up late every night, regretting it every morning, then doing it all over again.
Give me your Netflix password so I know it's real
There's always been something a little off about Teletubbies. #CTL
Nintendo 64 came out 18 years ago today. How old does that make you feel
Retweeted by CollegeTownLife
Me: I'm going to workou.... Are those brownies?
This whole education thing is really cutting into my alcohol time
Raise your hand if you've ever been personally victimized by Mondays.
It's 2014 why can't I snapchat a doctor my symptoms
If you need inspiration for today, here it is. #college #CTL
I'll have a venti nonfat get me the hell out of this class latte with a shot of is it Friday yet, please.
The Sunday scaries are way too real right now
My mom told me to get up and do something today so I got up and switched couches.
Snapchat stories are the only the reason I remember half my nights
Brb going to put myself in a food coma.
Fuck homework why am I not floating down a lazy river right now
You know what looks great on a resume? Having your writing published online. Submit your funny college articles at
Making it to bed just wasn't in their cards last night. #college #CTL
My body hates me as much as society collectively hates Nickelback
If you can't be good, be good at it
Becoming an alcoholic in college wasn't really what I planned to do with my life yet here I am
When you mix alcohols it should really come with a sign that says "No longer responsible for my actions."
Snack hard, Snack often
'Be yourself' is about the worst advice you can give to some people.
I literally look like a walking mug shot right now #CTL
Unless you rapped "Aaron's Party" tonight, don't tell me about how good it was
Spending all my money at the bar so I can't buy fast food on the way home
When you take a shot of cheap alcohol and it hurts your feelings
Rompers and peeing just don't mix
I make up for my low grades with my high blood alcohol content
As long as I don't puke, it means I was "the perfect drunk"
The irrational and blinding hatred you feel when you walk into class and somebody is sitting in your unofficial assigned seat
College (noun)- trying to manage your grades, social life, bank account, sleep schedule, health, and laundry and failing at all of the above
Single and too sober to mingle
I'm not a glass half full or empty kind of person. I'm more of a I hope it's tequila and not water kind of person.
Raise your hand if #Scandal coming back tonight is by far and away the best thing to happen to you all week
How can you tell if someone worked out today? Don't worry, they'll tell you