"There comes a time in your life when the best reputation you can have is the one with your family"
Don't trust someone who lies to you, and don't lie to someone that trusts you
Being stupid and being dead is almost the same... You don't know it, but it is difficult for others.
How great is our universe and space? Take a look at this video, will change your life... m.youtube.com/watch?v=7zWKm-…
No amount of guilt can change the past, and no amount of worrying can change the future...
Life is the art of drawing, with no eraser
Facebook needs an 'In A Relationship with______ While cheating on them with _______ and telling _______ I love them'
"If Nicky Minaj and Lil Wayne were drowning, and you only had enough time to save one, what sandwich would you order ?"
Because of "YOLO", MILFS are now 16 years old
you know what really turns me on? Unprotected.... Wi-Fi
"Being a person is becoming too complicated, time to become a unicorn"
"How do you get an 80 year old grandma to say the F-word? You let another 80 year old grandma yell BINGO!"
"Friendship is like peeing on yourself, everyone can see it but only you can feel the warm feeling it has"
"Always borrow money from a pessimist, he won't expect it back"
"Voed jou geluk, en jou twyfel sal sterf van die honger"
"a person who never makes mistakes,never makes anything"
You’re just like a snowflake: beautiful, unique, and with one touch you’ll be wet.
"Being someone's first love is great, but to be their last is byond perfect"
What do you call a Bunny with bent Dick?
: ghost hunters: can you communicate with us *door creeks* ghost hunters: oh so your name is william"
: Your earlobes line up with your nipples."
We need a global hand signal for "shut up don't tell my parents that!"
If two people are happy together, leave them alone... They will learn soon enough...
"You don't get what you WISH for, you get what you WORK for"
During school: "What day is it?" "Monday February 10th, 2013 11:58 Eastern Standard time".
Summer: "What day is it?" "Probably July".
"I'd rather kiss the groud, than kiss a starless sky" - Biffy Clyro
"You don't suceed because you hesitate, you think we fly but we levitate..."
Aim for the moon, even if you miss, you'll land among the stars.
Its not the good-bey's that hurt, its the flashbacks that follow...
That WTF moment when your toothpaste does a suicide dive off of your toothbrush.
"When in doubt, flat out" - Colin Mcrae
"You have to fall, in order to fly"
Never give up ons your dreams, keep sleeping!
Die bondel vry nie so lekker soos jy nie...
As ons lag, dan lag ons saam maar as jy huil is jy aleen...
"Don't look how far you have to go, look how far you have gotten"
there is always a little knowledge behind every "I don't know"
Lazy Rule: Can't reach it... Don't need it
I don't care if the iPhone 15 is out when I have a kid. Their first phone is gonna be a flip phone. They're gonna know the struggle.
McDonald's should have a third window where you can trade in all the wrong shit they gave you at the second window.
Be yourself, because those who matter, don't mind and those who mind, don't matter...
What is a committee? A group of the unwilling, picked from the unfit, to do the unnecessary?
If a woman is upset, hold her & tell her how beautiful she is. If she starts to growl, retreat to a safe distance and throw chocolate at her
If you want to be TOGETHER you have TO-GET-HER
The 2 best days in your life is the day you are born, and the day you find out why...
"Promises are lies, with pretty ribbons on them"
That awakward moment when you realize you'd rather be bored than study -.-