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STFUImTweetn B**ch

#MyEscapePlanIncludes Never Telling You My Plans , Ill Just Do It
I have to get my affairs in order so i can get on the road by next week , my last days in the city im counting down
When your tired , your tired, i know i am
ill see her , ill visit , ill pay child support and be done with this entire shitty situation and sleep peacefully
My 1st child is a lost damn cause frankly we did all the therapy she is never going to be my child her & me and frankly im okay with that
i look forward to the day i have another the child that is grateful to have me , who actually is loyal to me, no matter what knows im mom
like i said im sick of my entire family and her included , my life needs to be purged of everything in it that depresses the fuck out me
So with that being said my mother has poisoned her against me and its clear when i talked to her today she had a fuckn attitude
So ever since i made the stupid decision to ask my mom to help me when i went back to work and school i knew she would never see me as mom
if your own child cries because she is told she is moving up where i am at hollering why are you doing this you know she isnt your child
its not that i dont want children , i love kids and i do love my daughter however its clear she does not love or respect me
i dont kiss nobodys ass and i never will and i have zero problems making this a legal permanent decision
So the best thing i can do for this child is let her be and stay with her grandmother then my sister im over her fuckery
there is definite distance there and you know what i as a mother have done all i can to be there
life is to short to beg and plead a almost 13 yrs old child to talk to me
Ive made my mind up and i know family law will have to get involved but i am ready to move on
ill be glad when i can start my life over , pay child support and let that child be where she wants to be she has no loyalty or regard 4 me
like i thought i would never say this but i been lost my child the day she went to grammas house
She sits up there with a snot nose fucked up attitude and im not here for her bullshit
Ill be glad when i sign these papers ive never seen a child like this before... truly under gramma thumb to the point she not mine
I already gained my INDEPENDENCE DAY, I did when I asked god to protect me from people who meant me no good, friends and family , im FREE
Thats priceless, now I have to dry my tears and rest the rest of the day in solitude and silence and sleep the 4th of July away
SoI will be 36 yrs old with a messed up life story, little to show for it, but one thing is i havent lost is my beautiful mind or soul
You cant fix that kinda shit with gee its all shits and giggles when i dont find a damn thing i have been taken through a laughing matter
you cant push people and then come around and say we were joking, no you werent , you did it becuase your cruel, hateful and mean
I have never had it 16 + years out of highschool and 5 + years post nervous break down behind people who though my life was a joke
Im willing to give up the fixed income and work whatever job there is whereever i land be okay with next to nothing so long as I have peace
Thats not something money or a damned nit wit psychologist or therapist can do, that has to be done by self ... and thats what ill do
Thats why its time to move again, sign paperwork, and sell belongigns, so I can heal, have some type of peace and work on erasing scars
No amount of Im sorry can fix the amount of damage thats been caused and thats the thing the only thing folks can do is exit my life
No one will ever be able to erase the amount of pain they caused me , no one will ever be able to erase the nightmares I live through
The only thing people many including my parent forgot in life is that god see's everything and god knows they will never change me
Im the girl everyone pitched in to destroy and change , but failed to realize that I am industructible, I have a higher level of peace
Im the girl who wear red lipstick, Im the girl who has nothing but has a whole lotta heart and goodness, im the girl that knows god
So im not rich , nor do i give a shit to be, Id rather be poor, broke, happy, sane , and peaceful , something money damn sure will never buy
Alotof people think Freedom is waking up everyday RICH FOREVER, its not waking up SANE, PEACE, AND HAPPY , Ill take that over money
you cant repair broken families, you cant repair broken minds, , you cant repair crushed spirits, only god can do that even he has limits
I have lost so much that no amount of money can replace or fix that kind of damage and thats what people dont get money does not fix things
Those are my poor choices and decisions that have cost me damn near everything including my peace and good nature besides my brands
I love to be happy, peaceful , and under the least amount of stress, i have never had that becuase I am surrounded by the wrong people
At this point i have to FREE myself from being bogged down wuth stress, drama, and people who clearly made my life miserable
the car I will voluntarily give it up or get a different one of lesser value as long as it gets me from point a or b im cool with that
Ill get on the horn and sell the house at cost to get out from under it and move and have one less thing on my plate to deal with
Im perfectly fine with not renewing and doing the best i can regardless if I have no place to call home .I prefer it that way.. Ill alright
So now im okay with no longer giving warnings or saying keep fucking with me imma show you what Imma do. So counting down the says it is
Warning comes before destruction and I had warned so many people in my life to stop playing games with my life, my sanity, and happiness
I wont have any friends or family when I load my boxes I packed and leave, I will be on my own and do the best I can a BIRD, flying solo
that flys solo , and doesnt have a mate or a pal to fly with me, I have to rely on god for the rest of my life becuase I will be alone
Even at that you never see hummingbirds by themselves they always have a pal or flying partner, i just happen to be the rare one you see
I dont need the weight, the depressment that comes from being surrounded by unreal, non supportive, selfish people ,I need to release myself
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