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Happy steak and blow job day, got my steaks defrosting, wahey. 😉
Dogs already walked, she then had the cheek to get back into bed with @HomoSocialist. Now it's just lonely me going to work.
Is Loreen competing in Eurovision this year? #Eurovision
The Poodle is giving my Tina Turner vibes #Crufts
The old English Sheepdog was robbed #Crufts
this little girl is going places 👏j
Retweeted by Christopher
I want some knee high boots so bad.
Well this 13.5 hour shift has flown by. Accidentally cutting myself and bitching and moaning all day really makes time fly.
King Kong has to be one of the worst films.
When you're telling the waiter about your day and he's pretending to give a shit...
Retweeted by Christopher
I have a theory that as we evolve we will lose the ability to talk, while our thumbs double in size for better phone typing.
No - Novelty mugs.
When in doubt, bribe them with cake.
It's quiet time now while my codeine kick in. *happyyy thoughts*
It's been 3 days since I replaced my sisters goldfish with carrot's
Retweeted by Christopher
Any of my followers read 'The Secret'?
I can't even look at myself today, never mind anyone else.
One jäger bomb last night and its written me off emotionally today.
The beer fear is real.
when kim and khloe asked a deaf lady for directions
Retweeted by Christopher
MSG and Chinese Restaurant Syndrome: Causes and Effects I am a sufferer.…
I didn't even know VH1 still existed.
Retweeted by Christopher
Got a parking ticket, and bumped a car today. If you need me, I will be sat in a dark room wrapped in bubble wrap.
Took Teddie for a walk and nobody said how cute she was... how fuckin rude.
My biggest annoyance is people who throw litter out their cars.
The downfall of being gay is your husband, (@HomoSocialist) wears your shoes.
I don't think I've seen anything safer than this in my life…
Retweeted by Christopher
Builders come to work on the garden, he's not fit. I'll be in the living room.
Auntie looked like she just wanted to slap me in the mouth because I have no milk in the house. Drink your coffee Black like normal people.
This is not a relaxing day off.
I'm such a nicer person when I've been to the gym. I actually have an interest in people.
Oh to live in a area where this is the pursuit of the day.…
Too fat for a selfie
We'll I've had a healthy jacket potato for tea, no larger, no wine, no curry. It's shit, I'm a bit miserable, but will be worth it in time.
Oh not it's too windy to go for a run.
The Jeremy Kyle show makes me feel sick.
Nearly just egg'd a kid in the shop for laughing at my shoes.
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