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Sam Shahriary
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How'd this snail get on my roof 🐌
April Fools! Aww come here give a kiss
I don't even know you like that
Like seriously bro. Leave me alone. We're not even that good of friends
hey r u a bank because u need to leave me a loan
Retweeted by Sam Shahriary
single in the womb, single till the tomb
Retweeted by Sam Shahriary
Look at daflickada wrist
I want to meet myself from someone else's point of view
Retweeted by Sam Shahriary
s/o to gravity for making your girl fall for me
Retweeted by Sam Shahriary
There's a storm abrewing☁️
Sleeping till 1 pm just feels wrong now😞
im on a new diet called dont fucking look at me
Retweeted by Sam Shahriary
Look at me. I am el capitòn now
Holy god this bird has been chirping the same damn thing for the past 45 minutes
Stay out of my business... Ok? #jeezus
Day 157: roommate lost key. Fails to inform me. Room rekeyed while I'm in shower. Forced to go to front desk in towel
Retweeted by Sam Shahriary
It's a little too quiet right now...
are we gonna fuckn hold hands tonight or what bitch
Retweeted by Sam Shahriary
These Zorgons are scarey as hell! 😟
Trusted you and you pull this shit?
Retweeted by Sam Shahriary
Mother Nature is telling you something, DAD.
"If she was a McDonalds burger she'd be a McGorgeous" -@ChipKelly_jr
Retweeted by Sam Shahriary
Holy shet. @ItzTheHoodPope came to me in a dream
I find the strangest things in my raincoat pockets
I enjoyed this break too much
I can't wait to accidentally walk into my room and see that my toys are actual alive #ToyStory
A leaf just flew in and hit me in the face while I was driving. #fall
Some PopeHaterz can't keep their #mouth shut, so you already know they bouts get #PopeSlapped. Stay strapped 4ever young #PopeTalkTuesdays
Retweeted by Sam Shahriary