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Chad Shapiro
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I'm going to el segundo to meet a friend for dinner. I'm not bringing my wallet. If don't know why ask Q Tip.
I overcome all weakness with my smart phone. It's smart so I don't have to be #math #spelling #history #geography still can't figure out gym
I have a hundred jokes per minute, but I'm a slow Typer. So I only post one a week. I apologize to my fan. Sorry mom.
I'm glad I don't have to deal with Dating apps. I downloaded grinder because I love sandwiches. "Sure I'll have the hot beef" #indoorhusband
WARNING!!! heckling a comedian is like cat calling (any gender). Yes it is that rude. Shut up & enjoy the show or leave. #yournothelping
I'm glad I'm married. It's gotten to the point where you can't pick up a girl in a dark alley anymore. #indoorhusband #dontcatcall
Has anyone ever picked trick? I did once, but she wanted to charge me $100. #hustleandflow #halloween #hardoutthere4apimp
What did you do with your candy?My friends played poker used candy as chips. I only gambled with the ones that had razor blades. #halloween
Redbull gives you wings but how many people died filming their commercials? We only see the ones that make it.
The stage at Santa Anna star casino will be rockin tonight. Laugh it up in New Mexico.
Performing at a casino in New Mexico 7pm. Then catch my encore at the hot tub.
I'm going to the dollar store anyone need anything? #makingrain #dollartreevs99centonly
I'm building an empire and changing the game. Who wants in?
@ChadShapiro Hey We made a vidoe for Funny or Die with Rolan Whitt aka @spazmasterr See what you think. Maybe share. funnyordie.com/m/99r0
Retweeted by Chad Shapiro
I'm actually looking at the Ralph's supermarket circular for sales. I'm a grocery shopper. I went from indoor husband to house husband.
This week turbo Tuesday followed by buzzed bar games Wednesdays. Going back to Cali. Entertaining studio city this week.
The hotel I'm at has my favorite flavor pastries, "Free". #ifitsfreetakeit #tweetsbychad #indoorhusband
I'm in Arkansas. Banging in Little Rock. With #BillClinton
Tonight. It's the famous comedy on rye. Witness it for your self. Comedy show 7:30pm at canters deli kibitz room. Message 4 tix
Don't drink & drive. #uber How do rich celebs get DUI? Can't you hire a limo & buy a new car. 1st thing when I'm rich is getting a driver.
#StephenCollins hired digital underground for the trial. "if ya missed it I'm the one who said just grab 'em in the biscuits" #humptydance
Everyday with this in LA. That's why CHiPs was such a popular show. #CHiPs #realitytv
I'm at the iPhone store. There are 50 workers here. They all can't be geniuses. I need a ride to the cloud. #iphone6 #AppleStore #tcb
New vines coming out next week. Over 20,000 followers why you not? Proper English no required. #6secondlaughs #indoorhusband
Enjoy the stress of your team losing today. #idontwatchfootballanymore
Had fun at the downtown Los Angeles Comedy and blues club. Last night. You guys create a awesome atmosphere for audience and comedians.
I'm in a coffee shop that is also a capital one bank. The barista just tried to sell me on a savings account. #thisisreal
Getting new headshots today. Filming a movie tomorrow. Selling bootleg DVDs on Friday. #tweetsbychad
Can we talk? Enough said.
Yeah no school. I said I'd never go back, no matter how much I need to. Everyday is recess
When you have no talent and your post blows up. It's a virus not viral. #FoundationAgainstNoTalentAssClowns #FANTAC
5 day social media silence challenge. No communication. I'll be posting my progress every hour. #challenge #tweetsbychad #indoorhusband
Moving to LA, I feel like a freshman in college. I'm excited to see anyone from NY. Hey we never talked but were best friends now.
Just added two great shows to the schedule. 8/25 in Santa Monica and 8/26 in Burbank. Details to come in a few minutes.
7/20 7pm Taping new album @ cork lounge, Sherman oaks. It's a 7-10min on tape cassette (1min b side bonus) sold out of the trunk of my car.
raise money & donate. Fun campaign. But your ice bucket challenge is not interesting or better than others. Celebrities. It's just water.
I've seen the Exorcist about 167 times, and it keeps getting funnier, every single time I see it...#Beatlejuice
We will miss you robin Williams. Thanks for the laughs.
Tonight at McCabes Bar Santa Monica 9pm. Comedy show.
Today we binge watch TV. #OrphanBlack
Comedy show at The Park Bar 2007 Burbank Blvd Burbank showtime 10pm no cover charge. Come and check it out.
I was flying @USAirways and a @FedEx truck passed us.
They should call @USAirways, USground. At least @UPS get you there in 5 days or less.
Someone has their Netflix Bu the mail in my apt. Should I take them? I'll mail them back & they can be re-Qued. #jk #didnttakethem
Only @USAirways horrible airline charge you out of pocket to use your credit. I spent $200 w/ $795 credit for a $496 flight. $1000 4 a $500