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Chad Shapiro
Joe Franklin use to do a wonderful Billy Crystal impression. This tweet brought to you by Streit's matzah, manischewitz & Dr. Browns Cel-ray
I like American snipers more than any other snipers. Love a good Tom Berenger movie. #USAUSAUSA #AmericanSniper
Anyone want to go to a trivia night in valley village. I'm checking out my competition. I'll treat beer and food. Starts 9:30-10pm
I'm driving in Arizona and it's snowing. Check out this beautiful view
logged on to wifi after not having it for 3 days. It felt so good. Like I drank a gallon of water after walking in the desert for 3 days
All my tweets are live tweets. Glad I'm performing instead of watching the golden globes. It's good to be the show. #GoldeGlobes2015
Sunday night the oldest crowd of the weekend and the best show of the weekend. Love a great Sunday show. Thanks #edgewatercasino #laughlin
If bass is booty, what's treble?Boobies? If so I'm all about the treble & a bit of bass. I like to equalize. #allaboutthebass #MeghanTrainor
Another great show in Laughlin NV, I'll be in bed by 8pm. Need to wake up to catch the dinner buffet at 10am. #anotherearlybirdjoke
Just second hand smoking in Laughlin NV, thanks for the free tobaccey. #Laughlin #illbehereallweekend
Laughlin NV. Show was great, I'm done at 7:25pm. Still free to get the early bird special. Maybe I'll play bingo. I have no clue what to do
Ain't no party like a Laughlin party cause a Laughlin party don't Start. #nopartiesinlaughin #nosleeptillauglin #iamtheparty
Starting tonight. 3 shows. Edgewater casino laughlin nv, 7pm check it out. Entertaining the village. #laughlin #comedy #standup
2015 great start. crew & actor in a webseries pilot, bars are signing up for @buzzedbargames, 1/9-1/12 standup Laughlin,AZ, Vegas
Starting the year off doing taxes. Looking for refund. Daddy needs a new pair of shoes. I just want some pizza and bagels. #TaxSeason
On the set. My first non-stand up production in LA. Details to come.
I'm continuing to book shows for 2015. If you have any local LA shows let me know. You'll be getting my avails soon anyway.
I don't know why but NYE is trending. #nye #NYE2015 #justwant toseethebluetrendingarrow
Any LA Comedians/improv on Vine? & want to collaborate? I have 22k followers.
Happy New Year. The empire has begun. Looking forward to your money in 2015. #empire #money #cashflow
I am happy that my consideration is alone will determine the winners of the SAG awards. #SAGAwards #foryourconsideration #freemovies
Still a fan of Dustin. Had fun performing & hangin w/ him. #DustinDiamond, I hear Zach is now a lawyer #franklinandbash
Happy birthday. Hope you have a great day. See you when your back in Cali
I'm accepting presents all year round. Wish me what ever holiday you want as longs as it comes bearing gifts #Xmas #Hannukkah #holidays
You may be able to take one movie from my Jewish Xmas, but you will never take my Chinese food!!! Are you kimching me?
Just a helpful hint: #sony you should change your passwords and pin#. From your friend Chad. #SonyHack
CA doesn't print drivers license on the spot. You get them reproduced choose your border & hand them to cops at parties. #OrganDonorResume
Could have just let #TheInterview release in theaters and bomb on its own.
To get a drivers license in CA from out of state, you need to take a written test. To get a license in NY/NJ you only need a middle finger.
Getting my CA DRIVERS LICENSE today. According to my observation of current drivers the CA drivers handbook is all wrong. #ladrivers
Hey bob thanks for house sitting while I'm gone. Tell Fred there's a pie in the freezer. He knows. #feedtheguests
Yeah. I'm in NY. Unfortunately just at JFK airport. No time to hang. Off to punts cana, dr. #vacation
guy in LA is trying to make LEFT into a shopping center w/ no traffic light. I bought him a coffee and a crossword puzzle. #concernedcitizen
Comedian Chad Shapiro continues to write fake news headlines about himself. No one cares. #mustseetweet #loveablewiseass #indoorhusband
Comedian Chad Shapiro goes to popular sushi restaurant, but something smells fishy. Finds out the fish isn't cooked. #rawstoryateleven
Comedians Chad Shapiro befriends a rock, his wife says "No Pets!" What happens next will make you cry. #glueforgooglyeyes #petrock #rescue
Comedian Chad Shapiro sues future comedy audiences for response to politically incorrect bits. "Groans are not laughs" says Seinfeld.
Comedian Chad Shapiro writes open letter to urge people to stop writing open letters. You'll never believe what happened next....#nothing
Hey kids Santa is playing with your gifts.
I'm writing new material today and without performing on stage. I know it will be funny. Some jokes just work the first time.
Once again facebook. You waisted my time.
In an article, why write "no pun intended?" Just choose a different word before publishing. If you post, it was intended #loveablewiseass
In LA. I'm filming Hard Rain 2 "Rain Rain Go Away" I'm taking Christian Slaters part, I need a Morgan Freeman? Straight to DVD. Who's in?
Holy crap it's raining. Anyone have a jet ski?
Chris Christie now says he shut down the GW Bridge in protest of #furgeson, then sets up meeting with the cake boss to work things out.
Are people really protesting by blocking traffic in CA? WAIT A MINUTE, it will be backed up on its own. #LAtraffic #furgeson #indoorhusband
I'm thankful the year is almost over. back on track & started building my empire. Next year is huge & it's already begun taking shape. #2015
Happy tday. This thanksgiving no turkey. My meal my way. Chicken is finger lickin. Enjoy.