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#blessed bc cookie dough delivery to work
am I being punk'd??
I tickled Ella this morning and she proceeded to throw up all over my bed #HappyNationalDogDay
recruitment is coming #NYUPanhelLove
when your uber driver takes you to the McDonald's drive-thru because he just gets you #truluvknowsnobounds
sunbae #fuckaaronburr
and today ella discovered the mirror and won't stop growling at herself
kickin' it with my main squeeze 🍋
drink some coffee, blast some gangsta rap, and fucking deal with it
still searching for my lost shaker of salt :/
it's 5 o'clock somewhere, ya know?
yesterday was much #rollingwiththehomies ⚓️
I come from a long line of crazy dog people, in case you were wondering #javier
v blessed to have these crazy kids in my life #ClearTheShelters
Beyoncé is great, but @Lin_Manuel for next years September vogue cover pls
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I thought a minute on the treadmill was long but then I was waiting for my hot pocket to microwave and that shit sucks way more
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hanging out with BB
Watch the #GOPdebate? Bet you feel like donating to a Democrat right about now.
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god 4 president 2K16
"don't kill people or break things" - god, probably
I have never seen a thin person drinking Diet Coke.
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my uber driver is hitting on me and I want to die
like...remember no ceilings?
getting 'plastic bag' tattooed on my forehead
you'd be surprised by how difficult it is to find a colonial dog costume on the Internet
when it waynes it pours
you like huey lewis and the news?
dogs are assholes
"I'm just an intern": the CDQ story
dinner date w bae!!!!!
like...... what if donald trump is our next president
I GOT ENEMIES GOT A LOTTA ENEMIES--Hamilton woulda LOVED that Drizzy song…
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I've been going Hamilton for so long #openingnight #fuckaaronburr
pour some henny out for the fallen homie today kids, #ripalexanderhamilton #fuckaaronburr
we're on a boat and. #fuckaaronburr
on a scale of one to basic
ready to marry you bitches #ORDAINED

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