“
@PasteMagazine: Watch the First Official Trailer for Anchorman 2
bit.ly/16JzNZf”
“
@MeowwItsAlly: Is this real life CDQ just followed me” AW SHUCKS
hit me with some netflix gems
i should eat things other than cough drops and mints, but also probably not
CHIVALRY: teen cooks a romantic dinner for his girlfriend "are you enjoying your ham and cheese hot pocket babe?" "no. not at all."
poking bitches on fb just to feel alive
my goal today is to be the most thug person at this brunch
this deserves endless retweets!!!! I am a mom of 3!!! This hits close to home!!!
#stopweed pic.twitter.com/nnsas7UYnF but like we're all just dust in the wind
teen drinking is very bad
S/O to
@ben_gabbard for basically being the best ever
was supposed to turn up but I turned left
@_CDQ go back to paris le bitch
bitch couldn't care less that I'm home
REUNITED WITH MY BF JAVIER
pic.twitter.com/yThGpkhPIK i kind of want to see everyone tonight but then again my bed is looking pretty ravishing
TAMPA FOR THE NEXT 36 HOURS
FUNERAL: teen OD's on marijuana
"i told you not to take that last bong rip bro" "you will be missed"
*drops dimebag in coffin*
hurry up with my damn croissants
MANLY: teens love underage drinking!
"mixed drinks? that's some pussy shit" "real men drink hard"
*takes shot and immediately vomits*
i ♡ you more than kanye ♡s kanye
my view for the past 10 hours :,)
pic.twitter.com/VjWdw1TA1P I asked for a mint julep, but they gave me a big glass of bourbon instead. Viva italia
We're up all night to get numb
rome is cool because everyone is basically wasted most of the time
a-ha! documented proof that academy's class of 2013 probably has abandonment issues
pic.twitter.com/S7RwwRcZMi 
starting a cult called middle aged dads with popped collars
pic.twitter.com/zeZfWDRfhl OH: bros love wearing bro tanks, shades, and snapbacks to the beach "let's hit the water" *bros struggle with what order to take things off*
too many bottles of this wine we can't pronounce
guess who's seeing
@chancetherapper next month (spoiler: it's me)
*casually regrets everything i've ever done or said*
nothing like coming back to this at the end of the day 🍷
partying it up at the club aka the vatican
currently playing 'how drunk can i get at this family dinner without mom using her angry voice'
we were just really craving chipotle